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Ok, long story short. I am now the paying parent of 2 children, my ex and I have a court order in place for number of nights they stay with each parent. My nights amount to over 175 nights per year, my ex has cb for both kids, and has put a claim in for child maintenance from 2016, ex and I agreed on what I would pay for and I have evidence of payments etc in form of bank transfers to kids account and lunch monies paid online. My children are aged 17 and 13, my ex is a nightmare, he has failed to tell cms we have an agreement in place and they are now saying I have arrears dating back to 2016, every time they have written to me I have rang them and co operated but also informed them we have a family based agreement. Cms are a nightmare and have sent my ex the arrears instead of me, anyhow to protect myself I now have started to transfer money to my exes bank account clearly stating its child maintenance. What will happen if they don't believe I have been paying - the problem I have is it went to my children's bank accounts although my oldest child's bank transfer clearly states bus fare and my youngest child has a cashless system at school which again I can prove. I'm concerned about these arrears as I don't see why I should pay them, I'm going to be paying child maintenance twice if this is the case! Any advise greatly appreciated
Do you have anything in writing about the original agreement? That's going to be your best argument with the CMS. Unfortunately, payments to your children's accounts or other expenses are very likely to be disregarded by CMS as child maintenance without anything in writing to back up that this was the agreement. It really depends on the evidence you can provide to show that it was maintenance, and not a voluntary payment outside of maintenance.
Yes I have evidence by email, my ex asked me to pay certain things which I did, as mentioned my daughter had money transferred to her bank account clearly stating bus fare, my sons lunch money is a cashless card where I can prove I pay. I may have to go through bank statements to prove purchasing school uniforms and other items he has asked me to pay.
Just getting nowhere with cms, they recently sent a letter with one amount, then sent another with a different amount and then again with another increased amount. When I call them informing my ex has a standing order going to his account weekly from a month ago and going forward, they tell me that it's up to him to contact CMS to inform them there is payments going to him. It's an absolute joke !
I would contact your local CAB and they can help you deal with CMS and it should take some of the stress out of it for you.
I have had 3 letters from csm within a month asking for different amounts each one asking for more. I then received a call from them last week saying I had to pay my ex £650 per month as this includes arrears from previous years - again explained we had a private agreement in place but they're just not interested as it's not my claim its up to my ex to tell them there was an agreement in place. It's v stressful I can't sleep with worry, hoping to get in to see MP and just tell them how useless the csm are!
Thank you for the advise, I have been in touch with cab and unfortunately they couldn't give me any advise, I think I was unlucky to speak to someone who wasn't an expert in the field and needed to refer to online information but I will try again
Unfortunately I have found that if your ex and resident parent says something to the CMS it is believed and it is up to you as the NRP to prove otherwise. Which is very difficult when the ex is trying to cloak the truth.
Good luck, but I fear for the outcome. It is very unfair....
My son had a similar problem with Child Maintenance - They Wont Listen. (sorry).
He had a Agreement with his EX that he would buy her a car instead of paying maintenance. We had all this in writing and signed. He paid for 1 year (£250 per month) direct Debt for the car and then she said "dont want the car anymore I want the money"!!
When my son agreed to buy the car, she said she had closed the CASE with CSA, however on contacting them, they said they still had an open case and he owes £4000 in back payments!! I offered to send all the documentation and signed agreement, but they were not interested. If you EX has ever opened a case and never closed it, then the payment they will chase will be from when the case was opened.
I did use these guys.. https://nacsa.co.uk and they were really helpful for a £30 fee.
But in the end he had to pay the arrears over a 12 month period. And his EX just laughed... !!
Gosh how awful and unfair for your son,
Things seem to be changing this week thankfully, I have agreed to pay ex a certain amount by bank transfer and 2 hour driving lessons but told ex I won't be paying for the driving lessons until he signs the paperwork from cm options (I think they're called that) and informs csa that there are no arrears and I have proof he has done this - just don't trust him or them. He seems to be playing ball, and I also now have evidence by text that he's agreed there are no arrears. If it comes to it I will pay for a solicitor to sort it which I can't really afford but at least I will get closure.
The man will not leave me alone with the abuse etc
TBH I would not pay anymore until the CSA (or whatever they are now called) state in writing that the case is CLOSED and you have NO ARREARS. My son EX said she had closed the case (she hadn't) and we had bank statements showing all payments, but the CSA were not interested as the case had not been Closed, so they carry on chasing until that happens.
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