[Solved] Child maintenance - It seems so unfair

you know the guy doesn't walk in front of the car with a flag anymore????

you know the guy doesn't walk in front of the car with a flag anymore????

😀 😀

My partner of 11 years and my daughter who is 8 has just left me and set up in a 2 bedroom apartment with rent in the region of £700 a month and she has contributed jackshit to the running of the house the joint mortgage or anything in 6 years but I think the other man will be paying that. I have offered to pay maintenance of £300 a month and pay school meals which can be £50 a month. But because she thinks she should live well and she has taken advice she is demanding £500 a month off me and I have my daughter twice a week and said I would just go the cms as I would be better off. When I do the figures on the CMS calculator I should be paying £317 is they anyway she can force me to pay this extra money. Also iam left paying the joint mortgage and I have had to put the house is up for sale. I basically can't afford to pay the £500 a month but can she make money.

Hi

No you just have to pay the amount CMS say... The calculator is good, but you are better off opening your own claim with CMS and get them to assess you and provide an amount to pay..

I'm sure there's another recent thread with better guidance on how to do this.

Hi,

Yes, you’d be better off starting the CMS claim yourself as you have more control over it then. You only need to pay what the CMS say, nothing more.

You also mention about paying joint debt ( mortgage etc ) you could ask for a variation as I’m almost certain that joint debts are taken into account and can reduce your maintenance contributions if your ex isn’t helping to contribute towards the payments in anyway. Worth asking anyway. Worst case is it’ll be £317 like you calculated.

feel for you Red6, my partner did the same thing 10 years ago, the whole calculation system with the CMS is completely rotten to the core

you need to be very careful, I was seeing my son every other weekend, holidays etc, then suddenly on the ex email, he doesn't want to see me anymore, that day, the ex puts in a call to the CMS, shared care has changed and I am having to pay an extra £100 per month, on top of the £540, your ex can easily use the system to stop you seeing your child and pocket the extra

I was the same, the mortgage was in joint names, she left and set up with the most wonderful man in the world, loves my son, better parent that me etc, it lasted 8 weeks, but I was left for almost a year, in a 4 bedroom house, paying all the mortgage that was in joint names

More important, if you get a car allowance, she will get her percentage of this, but with the company car, she will get her percentage of the benefit in kind, so say £6K car allowance, you take the company car, so see none of the cash and say £10K BIK for the car, she will get her percentage of £16K, as the CMS treat as income, crazy I know, for money you never see

You could end up paying a lot more than you think

As iam new at this I was wondering what benefits she would be entitled to as she only works part-time and earns about £1200 gross a month. But she has a mortgage on her own house which she rents out. Will her earnings have any affect on what I contribute. Sorry for all the questions. Thanks

Hi

As far as I’m aware, the other parents earnings don’t get taken into account. She is ‘ free’ to earn whatever she likes/ claim how ever much she can and it won’t affect the maintenance contribution

Sorry mate what she earns makes no difference and in my case when it was over £8.4K each year,believe me I do not earn any where near the salary they said I did, would not have affected her benefits

I don’t think it makes any difference whatsoever, regardless of her income.

Have been through the mill with my ex who is nothing more than an entitled brat… she has used my daughter as a political pawn for nothing more than her own financial gain. I now find myself at a junction. Do I reduce my contact to hopefully stabilise my already exhausted mental state or do I simply stub up every time for every little thing?

As many have said before, the systems broke and nobody cares to fix it. At the end of the day CMS payments are not a life sentence, they still hurt tho. I will delight on the day my final payment is made, it is at that time that we as men can regain some power, dignity and control over a very cruel and antiquated system. Until then it’s bite down and take it I guess…

Without knowing all of the details, I would say that you need to look after your own health first - without that you can't be your best for your daughter. The one thing I would warn you, though, about reducing your contact, is will your ex then use that as a new starting point to cause you more anguish. In other words, will you reduce your contact, but not actually reduce your levels of stress.

If you give us some more information (not too detailed, just an outline will do), then we may be able to suggest something, or at least provide a listening ear.