[Solved] Child maintenance - It seems so unfair

Couldn't agree more!
There is a salary cap on the CMS calculator set at £350,000!
There is a cap on child benefit, it stops if you earn more than £50,000.
It doesn't make sense to have different caps and for the CMS to be using £350,000.

What I would like to see is:
1) lower salary cap (£50,000)
2) When they give you some relief for travel/hotels etc, the cost should be grossed up and then deducted from your gross salary used by the CMS.
3) Anyone with a court order to pay spousal maintenance, this value again should be grossed up and deducted from the gross salary used by the CMS.
4) Not sure how this one can ever be resolved, but mothers that make contact difficult or influence the child to the point there is no contact, they should receive no child maintenance until contact is resolved.

Good morn,

I've just re-read this thread, having not visited dad.info for a while. I'm dismayed, but far from surprised, that the thread is still running.

It would be nice to read of a good outcome for a dad, but it is hard to remember one. Everyone I speak with (even women who have profited from it) agrees there is huge bias against men when it comes to family matters, but hardly anyone sees any need to change. I conclude our society has a strong institutional bias, but for some reason is content with that.

Ho hum.

Hi I'm in the same situation , at the moment I have to pay 300 pound a month !! That's gone down as the year before it was 420 pound a month !! For a 6 year old ! Why should I pay all the costs ? The mother hasn't been to work in 8 years , but is happy to take the money and other benefits she gets . A child cost no more money if you earn more money ! The amount you should pay should be capped , and not be made to pay a small mortgage each month !! Better of packing up work and claiming benefits myself !

I feel for you.
As I said above 15 months ago, it would be nice to hear of a good outcome for a dad when it comes to money, but so far I have not.
Everyone knows this is wrong, but no one is inclined to do anything to resolve it.
Ho hum - perhaps I'll drop in again in another 15 months to see if anything has changed.

Hi I'm in the same situation , at the moment I have to pay 300 pound a month !! That's gone down as the year before it was 420 pound a month !! For a 6 year old ! Why should I pay all the costs ? The mother hasn't been to work in 8 years , but is happy to take the money and other benefits she gets . A child cost no more money if you earn more money ! The amount you should pay should be capped , and not be made to pay a small mortgage each month !! Better of packing up work and claiming benefits myself !

the current cap on CMS payments is £3000 a week lol (for those on footballers wages).no kidding. even then, if a receiving parent thinks the parent should be paying more, they can take it to court.

There's an alternative way to view this though - if you had still been living together as a family, then any increase in income that you had would increase the living standards for all of you, including your child, so in splitting up, is there a reason why your child shouldn't still continue to enjoy the increase in living standards from any increase you get?

What might be fairer (but difficult to manage) would be a cap on the amount that went to the resident parent, and anything above that goes to the child directly, eg to pay for holidays, activities etc.

Hi Bill337, thanks for the offer and apologies for taking so long to reply. My partner was made redundant at the start of the pandemic which left us surviving on one income. After speaking to the agency they refused to reduce the amount I was required to pay and the resident parent also refused to reduce the amount. It was at this point I thought 'what's the point', there is absolutely no support for struggling NRPs.

The RP has always refused to do any of the travelling and has now stopped sending the kids with clothes (other than school uniform, which they are wearing when I collect them). The situation was weighing on my mind so much that once my current partner found alternative work (after 6 months btw) I left my job and started my own business. My income is now much lower and so my payments have reduced. In my experience this is what the agency does to people. It crushes you until you can't take it anymore. It was making me ill knowing that such a large portion of my wage was going to my ex whilst we were struggling To put it into context, her household income is roughly 120k - 140k. Mine was about half of that yet when my partner was working, when the NRPs earnings go up, another chunk is taken off you, when the RPs earnings go up...nothing.

100% agree that all NRPs are responsible for providing for their children, but the system needs to be overhauled massively and should offer some protection against financial difficulty. When I contacted CMA to discuss my partner's redundancy and the financial difficulty we were in, I was told that they treat maintenance payments as being No1 priority before anything else, which is why they can't help. This sounds great but not sure it would wash with mortgage provider, utility companies etc...

I feel we were lucky in getting through such a difficult period and if my business does well then my payments will increase again. I do worry however that the current system will leave many families on the brink of financial collapse and without the possibility of any real change from government.

Apologies for the rant, its just been a very difficult experience and it's nice to vent occasionally.

Yes can understand how frustrating it is and how payments can be cripling if you have mortgage/rent to worry about. If someone is on benefits, they have to pay £7 a week. Under old CSA it was £5 a week. Strange rules.

I see nothing has changed in 15 months on this issue.

Ho hum.

Child maintenance has to be paid although I agree this system can be difficult for the NRP and benefit the RP at times. It would be great if personal circumstances could be taken in to account more, but there simply are not the resources for that.

I only joined the group this week and already, I am so dismayed to read all the other fathers that have been made to feel like criminal and poor providers, when dealing with the CMS. I split with my ex, on good grounds some 12 years ago, she left the house and moved 170 miles away, she immediately received almost all her rent in benefits, as well as other, such as the child benefit, I as left to sell the house, pay the mortgage, in a housing crash and all in all, has taken 7 years, almost going bankrupt and suicidal, to pay off the circa £100K of debt

My ex in the last 7 years, has moved my son in with 3 different mean, hardly knowing them, two lasted weeks, but my son had to go through the upheaval and I was then expected to be the support for the ex, I stood as guarantor on her rental properties etc and drove nearly 700 miles round trip every other weekend to see my son

The crazy way that CMS works out income, my car allowance, I do not see as pays for the company car, which I need to work and pay for my son, she gets her percentage, the BIK on the P11D, I do not see, she gets her percentage and of course, all worked out on gross earnings, which has seen me paying from £705 per month and presently now £540 per month

I get an email, on my ex email account, from my 16 year old son, doesn't want to see me anymore, always been an amazing relationship, that day, the ex contacts CMS and tells them shared care has changed, guess what, I pay an extra £100 per month

I nearly died 18 months ago, but went back to work to ensure my son's money was not affected, was travelling over 1200 every other weekend now, to see my son

The 3rd guy she met, has now been 4 years (thank God), but he is of course the most wonderful man in the word, loves my son more than me, is the best father etc etc, they both drive new cars, eat in the best restaurants, buying a new house and holidays, me and my new partner eat in cheaper family places, no holiday for 3 years, live as frugal a life as possible, but every month, I am struggling to make ends meet, due to over £20K of my salary being deemed as income but I receive not a penny

Sorry for the rant, but in answer to the previous postings, nothing has changed and it will not, how many fathers need to be broken by the system, before people realise, we are mostly good, loving people, but the system works so much against us

I am giving up my car and looking for another job, whilst I will earn less, I simply cannot afford to pay what I am being told, I am now on furlough, but of course this is only 20% and not 25% so screwed over again

Keep fighting all those goods dads out there

I'm so sorry I can't offer any help - except stick at it, your son will be worth it in the end.
I'm afraid noting ever changes.
Ho hum.