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I have 50-50 custody of my daughter who is now a teenager and has recently had a rocky relationship with her Mum. Neither of us pay CM as custody is shared through a minute of agreement, although my daughter has been living with me for 6 weeks and her Mum has not made any attempt to resolve her issues with my daughter. basically no contact at all. My daughter has no wish to return to mums with the current situation. I felt pressure to ensure she went back but this was causing great distress and have been advised that my daughter can decide. There is a passage in the MOA that states something like 'any change of residence or care for the child they will have regard to the views of the child herself, depending on the age an maturity of the child at that time'.
It also states that neither of us will claim from each other now or at any time in the future.
My question is, if her Mum has broken the agreement , can I - and at what point do I seek CM from her mother? There has been no attempt to resolve or contact my daughter and my attempts at mediation have failed miserably.
hi,
if I am in your position, I would be very happy my child is living with me 🙂 if your child is refusing to go back to her mum, then I don't think you can argue that she is breaking the agreement. is her mother receiving child benefit? you could open a claim with Child maintenance service, but it could get messy. There is no court order. Your ex could show CMS that MOA of 50/50 Custody, and its possible they would just decide that she does not pay any maintenance.
Thanks for your reply.
Yes she is get CB
I too would be happy for my kid to stay with me. To be honest I'm not really interested in getting money but feel helpless as I want her to have a relationship with her mum.
I have texts from her mum telling me she doesn't want our kid over and she text my daughter starting arguments on the day my daughter was meant to return to hers. Cue drama.......
My kid isn't refusing long term and I'm sure she would go back if she got a call or a text to say she was missed or that they need to sort out their differences and move on but there has been absolutely nothing, radio silence.
I would suggest to give your ex a bit more time, perhaps a few weeks. she may start to miss her daughter and patch things up with her. Courts can not order a parent to see their children as far as I'm aware.Their good at taking action when one parent is blocking the other parent from seeing children.
I really wouldn't put pressure on your daughter to see her mum, in fact I wouldn't mention it at all unless your daughter does, otherwise you could create tension in your house. Your job is to provide love and support for your daughter, and to understand her wishes. Her mother is the adult, it's for her to mend the bridges, and if she wishes to do so, then you can mediate and assist. Believe me, I speak from a lot of experience here with my own daughters in a similar situation.
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