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My ex has full custody after taking my daughter away from me. When I was on benefits she didn't want any money, she said to my brother and I quote "I don't want his money". She finds out I have a job and suddenly starts demanding money, we'd been split for nearly 2 years at this point.
She is refusing to let me see my daughter more and won't let me have her overnight. Yet when I go to her town I can see my daughter unsupervised? I think all she wants is money from me. As she knows that letting me see my daughter more will mean less money for her. When we were up in her town, my girlfriend went into the shop with my ex and my daughter, and this was the day I paid maintenance, my girlfriend watched my ex buy loads of unnecessary junk with the money that I gave her. My daughter only got one thing from that money.
Now I'm concerned that my daughter isn't mine. My ex was a cheater, she admitted it to me when we split up. I also have proof she cheated. My ex keeps sending messages that sound almost reassuring, to myself and to her.
I feel she is being unreasonable, especially as my maintenance payments went down due to having another child, which only made her more upset. I think that's what has caused all her recent issues, and why she won't let me see my daughter. We have a small agreement to travel to each others town every two months, she is due to come here next month and is now saying she can't make it. What do I do about that?
hi,
by the sounds of things you need to go to court and get an order. my ex was letting me see kids every saturday, but denied overnights, saying they were not ready for that yet. so had to go to court to get it sorted. make it clear to your ex that you intend to go to court if you dont get to have your kids overnight.
first you will need to attempt mediation. find a family mediator. can get for under £100. video call. wait for outcome of this and see if they will sign you off , to go to court.
book appointment with these people: personal support unit - https://www.thepsu.org/
you need C100 form for child arrangement order.
PSU people will fill it in for you, for free. it will cost £215 to make this court application.
I think the first question is what would you want to happen if a DNA test proved that she wasn't your daughter - would you want to maintain contact, you are the only father she has known. If, however, you want to cut contact and stop paying maintenance, you could open a case with CMS and dispute parentage - you'd have to pay for a DNA test, but if it shows that you aren't the father, or if your ex refuses to allow the test, then you are no longer liable for maintenance from that point, and you'd get the cost of the DNA test refunded. You need to check the CMS calculator to find out how much you would be liable to pay if it's a positive DNA test.
My advise to you is do the DNA test before you do any mediation. My sons mother pulled a stunt in court claiming asking for a dna test was abuse.
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