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Legal document
HELP.......
I have been separated from my ex (not married) for nearly 5 years. We have one child together aged 8.
I have an verbal agreement in place that i have my child one evening during the week and every other weekend from Friday after school till Sunday evening.
Holidays were always sorted well in advance.
Just recently my ex has been making things difficult with access.
Is there a legally binding document which i can get which would show:
The maintenance i agree to pay (not via CSA but paid directly to her bank account)
The normal access (weekday and alternate weekends)
Holiday access
At the moment i feel harassed by my ex and almost powerless to get access to my child, which causes stress in my current relationship.
Many thanks for any responses................
Hi
As you stand now, there isn't anything legally binding, so you can't get documentation yet, so it's something you need to be working towards.
Firstly, make absolutely sure that your standing order states "maintenance for " - if it doesn't, change it now so it does. If your ex opens a case with the CMS, then you need proof that what you have been paying is maintenance, and not for something else (plenty of father's have been caught out by this and been stung for a lot of arrears because of it). Better still, check the CMS calculator to see how much you should be paying, and if it's no more than you are paying now, open a case with the CMS yourself (costs £20 one off fee) and do it via them - you still pay direct to your ex's account, but you then have proof of an arrangement.
You should also know that contact and maintenance are not linked in law, so paying maintenance does not give you a right of access, and the courts are never happy if any access (or lack of) is down to a dispute of maintenance payments, so don't mention this unless you are specifically asked.
If your ex is making contact difficult, then tell her you want to go to mediation - the courts require this to be at least attempted anyway before you can progress to court (hopefully it wont be necessary)- take a look at www.nfm.org.uk
Hello Jimboxx
Child maintenance and contact are not linked in law, issues with one should not affect the other. With you having a family-based arrangement in place you may wish to discuss and negotiate maintenance payments with the other parent. Although family-based arrangements are not legally enforceable, parents can decide the terms of their agreement to suit their current circumstances, as there are no strict rules or formulas to follow.
The Child Maintenance Options website has a useful tools and guides section that you and the other parent may find helpful when trying to negotiate your family-based arrangement. This can be found at http://www.cmoptions.org.
If an application were made to the Child Maintenance Service the paying parents responsibility to pay would start from around the point they contact the paying parent.
For more information on all the different ways to set up child maintenance and for a more personalised service, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website.
The DWP have a sorting out separation web-app that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.
Regards
William
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