[Solved] child maintenance

Yes you are correct, anything above the maintenance amount given by the CMS is at your discretion and you are not liable to pay this if you don't want to.

The amout that i pay wasn’t given by the cms, i went on the yougov website and worked out the payment.

Hello burned

It sounds as though you have a family-based arrangement in place, and as there is no involvement from the Government or legal system with this type of arrangement, there are no set rules you must follow. This means you and your son’s mother have the freedom and flexibility to decide together how you will support him - your agreement can be purely monetary, or alternatively you can include contributions towards things like school shoes and football club subscriptions.

As Yoda94 mentioned, if your child maintenance were to be arranged via the Government’s statutory service, you would only be legally responsible for the amount worked out by the Child Maintenance Service, and anything extra you were to pay for would be voluntary.

For information on all the different ways to set up child maintenance and for a more personalised service, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website at http://www.cmoptions.org.

The DWP have a sorting out separation website that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: https://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/.

Regards

William

I have just received the following email from her

Andrew

The upset earlier in the week has highlighted the complete imbalance of childcare arrangements, both practically and financially, and the detrimental impact on my health.

This needs to be addressed and rectified urgently.

Currently you pay me £264.00 a month and expect all Ethan related expenses to come out of that.  Child maintenance is a contribution towards the upbringing of a child, it is not a cover all expense, nor should you want it to be.  What it does not take into consideration is that because I have Ethan 11 nights out of 14 due to your work shifts, the financial and personal impact it has on me and my ability to work.

On the weeks you are on a late, you pick him up at 8am, and only by using afterschool club does it give me an 8 hour window to do my job plus an hour each way in travel, this is reduced even further on a Monday due to swimming lessons when I don't book him in to after school club.

The cost of ASC is £8.50 per day, for 8 days per 4 weeks, that is £68, just because you work shifts, which reduces the £264 to £196.

Because I pick him up at 18:00 on those 8 days, because of your shifts, and because due to afterschool activites on 3 days, I pay £2.50 per day on the weeks you do lates, because I do not have time to cook Ethan decent meal after school and after school clubs as you do, which costs me £25 per 2 weeks of the 4, which reduces the £196 to £171.

I pay £22 per month for swimming which I am happy to do, but I also pay the £16 per month for football that you should be paying as you only pay £6 per month for cubs, this reduces the £171 to £155.  As an only child and one prone to being heavier, these activities are vital to Ethans health and wellbeing.

I have paid £40 for new football boots, school jumper £16.33, school trousers £20, school shirts £16.50, pe t shirts £3, and pe shorts £5, school socks £3, football trainers £16, swimming shorts £19 all in last 2 months, your share would be £35 per month reducing the £155 to £120.

This doesn't reflect all the other incidentals I have paid for.

So less than £30 per week to cover the 10 out of 14 days you cannot due to your shifts.

Please feel free to explain to me how this pays for food, non school/club related clothes, a roof over his head 10 nights out of 14, my time and the impact this has on my life as I'm not free to do as I please 11 out of 14 evenings, how it compensates for the reduced sleep as I'm solely caring for Ethan for all of those evenings.  How it compensates that I cannot be flexible with my job because of your shifts, and the pressure it puts on me to work when I shouldn't be and when I should be spending precious time with Ethan.  How does it compensate for being so exhausted when it's my child free weekend that all I do is sleep?  This teamed with taking the dog who needs letting out several times a night so as to not further distress Ethan.

It doesn't.  The fact that you have zero respect for any of that is abhorrent.

With the added health difficulties I am now experiencing, it cannot continue because it's actually making me ill.  If I don't reduce my stress and tiredness, it triggers outbreaks and I can't work effectively.

Outside all of this, my time with Ethan is suffering, he is not getting quality time with me as I'm either busy doing things, or I'm too tired.  You have the luxury of picking him up from school every other week, enjoying decent time with him, and having dinner with him.

Therefore you need to make arrangements to have Ethan 50% of the time, whether that is two weeks at a time or every other week.

I wouldn't expect maintenance unless your wages increased, but we would go halves all costs associated with Ethan.

The logistics of this is not my problem, nor is your financial situation, again, you could have purchased a cheaper property and reduced your outgoings but chose not to.

Please let me know what date this can be effective, I think that 29th April would be a reasonable timescale and give you chance to make arrangements with your employer if necessary.

Hi there

That’s quite detailed! How do you feel about her demand that you share care equally?

Where does she buy school uniform? I buy both my grandsons trousers, shirts etc from Asda at a fraction of the price she is quoting, in fact I’ve just bought some swimming trunks for £4... big difference!

She would still have to provide a roof over her head, if she didn’t have Ethan... and as far as not being free to do as she pleases, well that’s parenthood for you! Ethan doesn’t require night feeds so I’m not following the logic of sleepless nights either.

If you are considering her proposition, I would suggest that you insist on written confirmation from her that she agrees that the day to day care of your child is split equally between you and she will not be making a claim for child maintenance.

If she is receiving child benefit and working tax credits you would also want to agree to some share of this too.

I personally think that this is a load of rubbish, I’m presently paying what the CMS would make me pay, as for her payment to after school club and breakfast club she would still have to pay them as well. She choose to leave me and i don’t think she likes it because i decided to keep our house and the fact that i’ve met someone else and things are going well for me at the moment.

I agree with MOJO,

She received child benefit, and any working tax credit etc...
Welcome to parenting. If she isnt happy she can transfer the care to you.
Also CMS is based on the amount of night only but this would normally include the daycare so.
Now you also have to live and this in my view is her problem.
Child cost money, do you get any help for having your child at yours and paying for his food or the roof over his head?

Rubbish but I guess its worth listening too.

Perhaps as a gesture of goodwill you could offer to go halves on his after school activities and to contribute to his out of school clothes.

Of course, as you know, the more overnights he spends with you, the less you would pay in CM. A lot of members would give their eye teeth to increase the time they spend with their children, but for some it’s just not possible.