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Hello
I am currently in a situation in where I have not seen my three children since March after breaking up with my ex - and have the matter in the hands of my solicitor.
I have not paid anything towards my children during this time, although my solicitor has raised this on different occasions via letters to my ex, and her solicitor. He suggested that i have her bank details, and pay the statuary amount.
My solicitor has asked for her bank details so I can make regular payments- but I have had nothing back.
She is denying access and I wonder if she is just giving me two fingers?
I have requested to pay for my children- by paying her directly. She has not made a claim via another route such as the CSA.
What my question is - as she is the one who's avoiding me and not responding, what's my course of action? I imagine that should this go to court, which I believe it will - can an order be made that way in where it's decided how much I will pay etc?
And- will it be expected that this is all backdated ? I have offered to pay but I'd feel it would be a bit harsh to backdate it 7-8 months when she's the one who's not responded and making it arkward, thus having to go through a solicitor and possible the courts- which is all a huge expense as I'm sure most are aware
Hello Jonathan1122
It is positive to hear that you are in the process of sorting out what sounds like an upsetting and frustrating situation. I would like to offer you some information about the choices you have for arranging to support your children financially.
Many families now benefit from organising child maintenance through a family-based arrangement, which is simply an agreement between you and your children’s mother about who will provide what for them. These types of agreements are not legally binding and to set one up, your children’s mother would need to be willing to communicate with you in order to negotiate the terms of your agreement, even if this is through a third party, such as your solicitor or a mediator.
If your children’s mother continues to refuse to do this, you may wish to consider making an application to the Child Maintenance Service. They are the Government’s statutory maintenance service and can either calculate your child maintenance, then leave you and your children’s mother to arrange payments between yourselves (known as Direct Pay), or they can collect payments and pass them on for you (known as Collect and Pay).
If you of your children’s mother decide to ask the Child Maintenance Service to arrange your child maintenance for you in the future, you can be reassured to know that payments will not be backdated – your responsibility to pay will start from around the point you contact them or they contact you.
Further information about putting in place a statutory arrangement and the fees involved with this, can be found on the Child Maintenance Options website at http://www.cmoptions.org.
You asked if an order can be made for maintenance via the courts. The alternative to a family-based arrangement and the Child Maintenance Service is to put in place a Consent Order (known as a Minute of Agreement in Scotland). To set-up this type of arrangement, both you and your children’s mother would need to agree how much child maintenance will be paid and how often, before asking the court to approve and authorise the Consent Order.
Whilst, arranging a Consent Order can be costly, as fees for solicitors, mediators and court costs may apply, if you feel this would be the best option for your family, your solicitor should be able to offer your further details about what this would entail.
For more information on the different ways to set-up child maintenance and for a more personalised service, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website.
The DWP have a sorting out separation web-app that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.
Regards
William
Hello William
I just want to say thank you for taking the time to reply to my post with so much useful information. I couldn't of asked for anymore
You have gave me much more clarity on the subject and I feel a lot better now you have shared that knowledge with me
Jonathan
LHi there
I think you would be better off opening a claim yourself with the CMS, but avoid Collect and Pay as you would be charged a further 20% of the calculated amount, and she would be charged 4% of the money she receives. Generally people only go onto Collect and Pay when they have missed payments, so that shouldn't apply to you.
If you decide to open a case with the CMS I would also advise you start putting the amount aside, you can get a rough idea of how much if you use the CMS calculator
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
The calculator doesn't take account of any pension you might pay, so if that applies it would be a good idea to deduct that amount before making the calculation. Here's a link to the governments guidelines about paying maintenance, that goes into more detail.
If you decide to go the court route to work out maintenance, I don't think it can be dealt with at the child contact hearing, but I'd check that with your solicitor. If your ex attends mediation you can try to get a family based arrangement in place there, a private arrangement. Is obviously the best type of arrangement as it doesn't involve outside agencies.
A court order for maintenance can be overridden after 12 months by opening a case with the CMS.
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