Hi there,
Really in desperate need of advice. The CSA have been in touch about increasing the Money I pay my Ex - I already pay my Ex Maintenance Money, but after a recent petty fall-out with her over me allowing my Son to watch a Comedy Sketch which was a "PG" rating, however she bought him Grand Theft Auto 5 which is an "18" Rating, which, to be honest is not suitable for a 10 Year Old. She has now, after our fall-out, got in contact with the CSA who are now looking into our/My Case.
Now, my Ex is a Hairdresser and works the minimum hours to qualify for full Working/Child Tax Credits, my quandary is that being a Hairdresser she also goes out in the Evening and does "Homers" various nights through the Week, so is, in effect Self-Employed also, but is not registered with HMRC for this. I don't grudge any money I have to pay for my Son who comes to stay with me every Friday & Saturday Night - He gets picked up from another Town which is around a 25 Mile round trip on a Friday and returned to his Mum on a Sunday around 6 o'clock, which is another 25 Mile round trip. My Ex also has another Child to another Guy.
Should I be letting HMRC know that she does the Evening Work, as I feel everything is all geared for the Resident Parent?
Yours in anticipation,
McSquenks
Hi McSquenks,
Child Maintenance is calculated on the paying parents earnings and it doesn't matter what the receiving parent earns.
I guess you have to ask yourself what your motivation is for letting HMRC know about you ex's undeclared earnings. Is it worth the hassle that you may make a small rift with your ex worse?
Are the CSA reassessing your case or did you have a family agreement to pay maintenance (ie not involving the CSA/CMS originally)?
Is there any way that you can try to cool the situation down a little between you and your ex? Otherwise your Son is likely to be caught in the midst of this disagreement.
Keep talking
Gooner
I agree with Goonerplum, I think you need to question your motives here. It would be very difficult to prove and it has the potential to cause hardship to your son.
I'm making no excuses for her behaviour but I dont think you would feel good about yourself in the long run.
We had a Family Agreement whereby I paid her a set amount each week. Due to the Fall-out she has blocked my Number from her Mobile and my Father or Mother has to go to the Door to pick up my Son, thankfully my Son has a Mobile on which I can contact him. Anything my Son has at his Mothers, I save like mad to be able to afford to get him the same i.e. X-Box 360 console, Wii Console, Game Boy's, Bikes, Scooters, Games and Toys. I've recently got SKY installed, not for me, for my Son to enable him to go "Live" on his X-Box and play with his friends. She is a really stubborn Young Madam for instance her Daughter to another Guy has his Surname, but when we split she started calling our Son her Surname (Which is not even her Real Surname), but on his Birth certificate and Passport is my Surname. My Son wants his name to be mine at School/Doctor's etc.. but she will not relent, just to get at me! I work in the Accountancy Field as an Accountant/Book-Keeper/Payroll Manager/Tax Advisor and if any of my Company's Clients have undeclared Taxable Income, we are bound by the AMLCC Money Laundering and Financial Standards Authority to report this kind of behaviour - TAX CHEATING!! My Son is a very well grounded young Boy and quite often says to me he just loves coming to stay with me as he gets peace and attention as he says his Mum does not listen to him as she is always on her Phone!
Kind regards,
McSquenks
I can see this having the potential to escalate into a situation in which there are no winners, but lots of losers. I think someone needs to take a step back, and since you're on here (so we can't suggest the same to your ex), my suggestion is that it's you that takes that first step. Her income is not relevant, so don't make it so - likewise, don't try to compete with her by buying the same things (maybe the odd thing), do things differently - he already enjoys coming to you, so do things different so he's not just swapping one games location for another.
It probably is worth considering mediation with your ex to see if there is anything you can both do to make the situation less stressful for all concerned.