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Hi
I'm looking for some information please. My ex and I split a few months ago and we are trying to sell our house at the moment. We have agreed child maintanence costs of £240 a month, I'm also giving her an extra £8500 to help set her up with a rented house, and I've said I will pay for clothes every 6 months or so of about £150. And now is asking for another £80-£100 a month towards our child's child care costs. I can't afford to pay for this as I'm trying to get myself another house and rebuild my life. Do I have to pay this extra towards child care ?
Thanks Derek
Hi there
Have you used the CSA calculator to see what you would pay if you were going through them. It might give you a better idea of what you should be paying and also some bargaining power.
If you were paying through the CSA (CMS) the amount they calculate you should pay is the only payment you would be liable to make, paying childcare costs would be purely discretionary, as would buying clothes etc
Here's a link to the calculator
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
Good luck
Hi
Yeah I have used the csa calculator and it is £240 a month, the rest I'm willing to pay to make life as comfortable as possible for them. I'm thinking of getting legal advise because I think this could get ugly as I'm getting guilt tripped and being told I'm selfish. But I have to be able to live as well and the extra is too much for me to find. And I've got to buy new or second hand things to completely kit any new house out.
Some solicitors offer free 30 minute consultations so that might be worth looking into.
Also, you could consider attending mediation.
It's worth noting, depending on your ex's circumstances and the type of childcare she is using, she may be entitled to some help via tax credits.
Chances are, if she's calling you selfish, then however much you pay, she's going to want more and she'll still call you selfish, so I'd consider paying the CMS payments only initially and then coming to an agreement with her to pay extra on the condition that she appreciates there is no obligation for you to pay it and that she stops the guilt trips and name calling. As you say, you do have to live as well - it's a matter of both sides playing fair.
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