Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Here's an interesting one, probably against the norm
My ex and I adopted two children in 2007 and separated in 2010, in 2011 she was arrested and subsequently convicted of assault of the children. The children were then placed with me by Childrens Services, however in the 9 months prior to this I had paid her on average of £500pcm as believe that every Dad should pay for his kids
Fast forward to 2020, my daughter has lived with me since January and my son left my Ex in Feb.
My daughter in Feb asked me why I wasn't claiming maintenance from her Mum, since she was the only child living with a parent. I explained to her that I wasn't even claiming CHB for her so therefore couldn't claim maintenance. A couple of hours later she presented me with the CHB claim forms which I duly completed and sent off.
I was paid backdated CHB to Feb 6 on 8th June (the reason it took so long is my Ex was failing to responded to their 'disputed claims' team) once in receipt of CHB I then put a claim in via the CMS.
It then transpired that my Ex was still claiming CHB for my son who left 4 months prior, so no maintenance payments could be made as we (supposedly) had one child each.
I was advised by CMS to contact CHB to inform them of this (which I had already done on 3 separate occasions). on my 4th call to them they advised that there was nothing they could do and were reliant on the parent being paid CHB to inform them of changes. The helpful lady recommended that I filled out a 'reporting a fraudulent claim' on the gov.uk site.
I have done this but processing will take 3-4 months!
Personally I find it disgusting that, I have had to do all of this running around and my Ex is getting away with paying no maintenance by effectively committing fraud. I on the other hand have always paid what was owed for my kids.
Oh, last month I got the court papers and my Ex is after a % of my pension, most of it was accrued before we even met!
hi,
how old are your kids? it sounds like the only way out of this situation is for you to get a court order that clearly states who the children live with. then a copy of order sent both to CMS/Child benefits people. you can make a court application for childs arrangement order/financial provision.
Bill
Thanks for your reply, my children are 16 & 17, my 16yr old daughter lives with me and my 17yr old son lives with friends. I am reticent to take this matter to court as for some reason our courts system views males with disregard in family matters, or that certainly is my experience.
By way of example I was advised to by Children's Services to apply for a contact order in 2012, the only effect on me was the stress caused to myself and my children plus £14k in legal fees.
Sadly as a retired magistrate I am not in awe of court proceedings and feel that as a 'man of colour' I was treated with suspicion by courts here in the South West (one CAFCASS officer went as far as to say "My don't you speak well!?")
So the result then was my Ex ended up with 35% unsupervised access for someone that had habitually assaulted my children. Lawyer/CPS and Children's Social Care workers that have been friends for years in (enlightened) London were aghast at such a ruling.
Appreciate that I do a job that requires an enhanced DBS, so am squeaky clean...so to speak 🙂
Thanks for your input though, I was just trying to point out that is someone chooses not to relinquish CHB for a child they can effectively scupper the other parents chances of claiming via CMS
Hi Greatdad1,
how long did you work as a magistrates judge? must have been interesting. if you have the time, would be great to hear about your experiences.
Not really relevant to this forum or topic since it was over 30yrs ago.
Anyone with a clean record that's an upstanding pillar of society can apply.
Back then (like many similar roles at that time) you'd get the post if you turned up carrying a copy of the telegraph 🙂 😀
In 93 when I became one I was the youngest in the country at 28. I didn't become a 'centre bencher' for 4yrs and stepped down in 99.
ATB
Hi Greatdad1,
how long did you work as a magistrates judge? must have been interesting. if you have the time, would be great to hear about your experiences.
I agree, would be interested to hear of your experiences 🙂
Sorry I didn't join to recount memories from of over 20yrs ago.
There is no such term as a 'magistrates judge' and, if you can't work out how many years I was active from reading my post above, then you really don't deserve a reply.
I am signing out from this forum, so please no more replies or silly questions.
My only suggestion to anyone appearing in front of anyone with legal authority is do so calmly, without attitude and just state the provable facts..not.your opinions.
Toodles!
in family court the term magistrates are referred to is normally " woolies ". It is of course much better if you have a district judge and avoid lengthy delays which people like yourself probably put poor dads through. I am not sure why you come on here with your great wealth of experience and superior knowledge. Maybe you should take heed of your own advice and run along and take your disgusting attitude to some other forum.
Toodles
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.