[Solved] Changing Maintenance that is stipulated in a Consent Order

Hello Steve71

It is possible to change the terms of your Consent Order, but usually if you want to go ahead with this, you will need to get legal advice. This generally results in going back to court to set out the application on a standard form. The court will then consider any changes to the amount or any other terms you wish to alter.

Any Consent Orders endorsed after March 2003 are not legally subject to change unless they have been in place for at least 12 months. As you have mentioned that your Consent Order is now over 12 months old, either you or the other parent could consider applying to the Child Maintenance Service instead, and the Consent Order will no longer be valid.

The Child Maintenance Service are the Government's statutory maintenance service and can either calculate your child maintenance, then leave you to arrange payments between yourselves, or they can collect payments and pass them on for you.

If you do decide to ask the Child Maintenance Service to arrange your child maintenance for you in the future, your responsibility to pay will start from around the point that you contact them, or they contact you.

If, at any point in the future, you and the other parent feel as though you could potentially reach a family-based (mutual) arrangement, you can find various supporting tools and guides available to assist you on the Child Maintenance Options website www.cmoptions.org.

In addition to this, should require any further information about the Child Maintenance Service, the fees involved with making an application, and to receive a more personalised service, you can contact Child Maintenance Options directly.

Finally, you may also be interested to know that the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a website, Sorting out Separation. It aims to make it much easier when you are separated to find the support you need, when and where you need it on a range of concerns, including, money, housing, employment, legal and parenting apart. You can view the website at https://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/.

Regards

William

Hi There,

As said above, to enable to court order to be changed you would need to return to court, but as the order is over 12 months old, you could just contact CMS and ask them to take the case over, unless you and your ex could agree on an amount that you pay.

Just be mindful that this can often cause issues, you are having your child at the moment over 52 nights a year and the CMS will make a reduction based on this. your ex could dispute the number of nights or she could reduce them to enable a higher payment. Neither of these are unusual and we see them both a lot.

if she does dispute them, hopefully your court order states that you have over night stays totalling 52 nights or more and the CMS should accept this as proof, if she tries to reduce the number of nights then you would need to go back to court for an enforcement order.

good luck

GTTS

Hi There,

As said above, to enable to court order to be changed you would need to return to court, but as the order is over 12 months old, you could just contact CMS and ask them to take the case over, unless you and your ex could agree on an amount that you pay.

Just be mindful that this can often cause issues, you are having your child at the moment over 52 nights a year and the CMS will make a reduction based on this. your ex could dispute the number of nights or she could reduce them to enable a higher payment. Neither of these are unusual and we see them both a lot.

if she does dispute them, hopefully your court order states that you have over night stays totalling 52 nights or more and the CMS should accept this as proof, if she tries to reduce the number of nights then you would need to go back to court for an enforcement order.

good luck

GTTS

Hi There,

As said above, to enable to court order to be changed you would need to return to court, but as the order is over 12 months old, you could just contact CMS and ask them to take the case over, unless you and your ex could agree on an amount that you pay.

Just be mindful that this can often cause issues, you are having your child at the moment over 52 nights a year and the CMS will make a reduction based on this. your ex could dispute the number of nights or she could reduce them to enable a higher payment. Neither of these are unusual and we see them both a lot.

if she does dispute them, hopefully your court order states that you have over night stays totalling 52 nights or more and the CMS should accept this as proof, if she tries to reduce the number of nights then you would need to go back to court for an enforcement order.

good luck

GTTS

Thanks for the excellent advice. My access isn't court ordered but I have kept a very detailed diary of everything for 2 years now on my solicitors and Police advice so can document when I have had my son; just hope that will suffice should it be questioned. I also contacted the CMS yesterday and they are now reviewing the maintenance.

Thank you once again.

Thanks for taking the time to offer such good and detailed advice. I spoke to the CMS yesterday and they are now reviewing the maintenance situation.

Thanks a million William.

Hi Again,

I did mean to add above if she does try and reduce contact then if you ended up back in court then the judge would take a dim view of it when it has clearly been done as soon as CMS gets involved.

Keep us posted on how things go.

GTTS

Well we were in court a week ago Monday (25th June). First time I was supposed to see my son after court was Wednesday 27th June....he was at school that day but then was mysteriously ill in the evening so couldn't come to his football training (I coach his team) nor stay the night like he has every previous Wednesday for well over a year.

His team mates told me he was fine at school and some of them had been playing Fortnite with him online just before they came out to training that very evening. My daughter told me he had a friend round so doesn't seem like he was that ill and he was at school next day.

Had him the weekend and he wanted to stay Sunday night as well. He has asked for this to be permanent as part of the arrangements on my weekends with him.

My ex agreed to it a couple of months ago but I am almost certain the ex mother in law then had a word with her and pointed out how many extra nights that would mean per year, now he stays on the odd Sunday night of my weekends with him.

He really wanted to stay Sunday just gone so I text the ex....she said no even though she was at work and not home until late.

I thought long and hard and had discussed this with my McKenzie friend after court the previous Monday. She advised me that in this situation I was within my rights to allow my son to stay and that it was a civil matter so the Police would not be interested as me and my ex have equal parenting responsibility; there are no orders or safeguarding matters involved with either of us parents......so I text her back politely and said I would be letting him stay Sunday. My son later told me that the ex had warned him on the previous Friday not to ask to stay at mine on Sunday.

Last night I was due to have my son (who is 11 by the way) and my middle child (daughter aged 15).

All seemed fine, picked my son up, did football training, picked my daughter up and went back to my place.

Whilst my son had a bath my daughter started talking to me about court, details of stuff that a child shouldn't be party to. She also regurgitated a whole host of inaccuracies about what had recently gone on in court and my reasoning for taking the ex to court in the first place.

I tried to calm her down but she got very angry with me. My son then came in the room and started quoting exact figures to me such as my salary and what I pay in maintenance, stuff again that shouldn't concern our children and stuff they certainly haven't heard me talking about.

I tried to calm them but the situation just kept going with more untruths that they just didn't wasn't to hear my perspective on. My daughter has had quite a few issues with school, her mother and gangs in which I have tried very, very hard to help her and be there for her so it was quite upsetting to hear my daughter so angrily spouting such bile at me.

I said to her that the way she was talking was not acceptable in my home and that if she wants to carry on talking to me in that way she would need to go home.
Within a minute she had gone and called the ex who then came and picked her up, sadly my son followed.

I feel pretty helpless at the moment. My ex openly says (at times of crisis) that she cannot cope with the kids and I get brought in to help sort the situations when they get too much for the ex.

I am then pushed out at arms length until the next crisis. My middle daughter has been responding well to her overnight visits with me and has been relaxed and really opened up about the issues she is having.

But last night during our conversation I had pulled her up on a lie about a horse riding lesson, a lie she told me last Sunday and that had the potential to cause a row with the ex, my daughter didn't like that I had seen through the lie and made her even angrier.

I have no way of enforcing rules and levels of behaviour when all my kids have to do is call mum to come and get them if I say something they don't like. Conversely I have backed the ex on many occasions when her and our daughter have had problems with each other and have always left the situation in a better state than I found it.

I really have vented here and sorry for doing so but this all happened last night and its still a bit fresh.

So after going off on a huge tangent, I definitely can see me seeing less of the kids now.

Sorry that this has happened. I'd give it a few days and see how it goes on, but you may need to consider mediation to start to resolve this.

I invited my ex to put child arrangements in place when our solicitors were involved whist we were sorting the divorce....she said no. My solicitor asked hers about mediation. She said no. I went to mediation earlier this year....she said no again. I eveneed asked the mediator how long I could leave it to see if she would change her mind. The mediatior contacted her again. It was no. Magistrate's and Cafcass recommend mediation. She said no.

I really did try with mediation actd but can't see her changing her mind now nor sticking to anything.

Thank you for your reply though, much appreciated.

Really sorry your having to go through this. In future dont side with your ex side with your ex. Your never going to win trying to please her who in fact has instilled loyalty conflicts with your children and has a campaign of denigration against you. Its good you are venting on here.

My advice is to be supportive of your children but never stay quiet about the bile you here from them and put them right. If you dont then the mnipulation wins. Your kids will understand if you allow them critically think for themselves and empower them. Love them support them and when they are adults you will have them.

If she cant cope thats her problem, they love playing the victim role. made your bed lie in it.

I am going through same procedure My ex lied to CMS she hadnt been recieving maintenance for some months which meant i was getting repeat letters calls etc. The CMS also tried to insight that i have arrears owing from CSA which was rubbish. This alarmed me to then fight as they contact my work place for a deductions order. I complained several times, offered so much evidence to claim i had been paying that eventually they removed DEO and will be reviewing my case. i like you have more contact than scheduled in order which she lies about when i want to have my case recalculated. I will follow up with this too as my order is over 12 months old.