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HI
Newbie here
Wish I had found this forum years ago
First started paying child maintenance long before CSA .
Payments were calculated on moneys left after personal expenses were deducted like mortgage , bank overdrafts, credit cards, electric,gas, etc, general house hold outgoings plus any loans that were in place at the time of court case.
After all the deduction it was 25% across the board, which was great for people like me but often a raw deal for the ex.
We were very young at the time and my ex had a 9month old daughter whose farther had escaped back to Italy.
Although my ex told me she was on the pill she fell pregnant again within 2 months of me seeing her, she told me she did it on purpose and the deceit of it all was she had been taking the little pink pills out of the packet and pressing them into the soil of a plant pot by the window.
Looking at the small tree flourishing in this plant pot with loads of pink round stains in its soil just made me laugh so much I had kidney pains, and as much as I wanted to be angry it just didn't happen because of laughing at the way she had hid them.
Good tip for you young lads, Regularly check your flower pots for foreign body's , because girls normally get what they want in the end and are very imaginative
Anyway to put it briefly because she was pregnant my dad made me marry her his reason was to give the child a name which thinking my dads always right like a fool went along with it
Met her in the February , married in the August and had parted going for divorce in the November all of the same year.
When it went to court the judge ordered me to pay for both children even though one of them was not mine, the reason been the child maintenance department had done all reasonable enquires to trace the farther but he was untraceable.
The reason they then ordered me to pay for the child was because when I got married it was to the family unit as a whole not just the girl and if i had been earning more money would have had to pay maintenance to my ex also, So imagine been married for well under 12 months then you get whacked with paying for her children that are not yours plus could have been the ex .
That couldn't happen now due to law changes, My dad always regretted the advise he gave me but allot people had different values back then, Pity some of those values are not with us today .
On another note and I know it will light some fireworks but has to be said .... There is no excuse for accidental pregnancy these days if using birth control , Even if there is a so called accident you can use the morning after pill .
It upsets me because there are genuine couples out there in a stable relationship having problems starting a family, And on the other hand you have greedy girls/women with no morals at all that use children as a means to a end , which if done correctly can change there life from rags to riches .
Cant help it but every time I see a woman in a expensive car I wonder who paid for it , them or poor ex , and don't blame me for thinking that way , blame those of you who have made a career of legal theft and the likes of Family courts, CSA and the powers to be that put them there in the first place .
Regards
Paying CSA for a further 2 children now and just had the money reduced to bare minimum due to lack of money , just wish I had it reviewed 3 years ago when business declined , Just kept topping it up with savings which are now gone.
I am lucky enough to have a young daughter here with me at home . who is my life and is and always will be my number 1 priority.
That is where my strength lies .
Regards
I've moved this off into it's own thread. Some very good points made there - I agree generally with your points about accidental pregnancy, though as you also say, if a woman wants to get pregnant and is prepared to deceive, then she probably is going to get her way.
Hi there
Does the child maintenance stop when the paying parent travelling to work abroad for three years? I have a 15 year old son whom I paying his mother monthly child maintenance.
Many thanks
The liability remains and depending on the country and also whether you are working abroad for a UK company, they may be able to enforce payment from your salary, otherwise you could find arrears when you come back.
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