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Hi
Looking for some other dad help here as I’m leftunclear after going it alone in court and trying to gain overnight stays for my 2 daughters
I’ve had a carcass safeguarding conversation and have admitted to smoking 1 spliff a night after work .. my partner has now pushed for a hair strand test in 2 weeks or so to go back for a final hearing.
I can immediately stop after many years of moderate usage but given the timescales It will still be in my system. Has the court got a reasonable usage pass level.
To put it in context I’m a successful business man and live a very active life 25 years 7 day a week gym goer and run and cycle all weekends
If I stop smoking now will I be ok
I'm afraid that stopping now won't affect the test. I'm not sure what the levels are, but I would admit to the court what you do and that you won't smoke within 24 hours prior to contact, or that you are stopping altogether.
Hi there
Has the test been ordered by the court? Have you had the safeguarding report back from CAFCASS, with their recommendations?
Hair stand tests can show level of usage, a spliff a night to unwind isn’t excessive, but it will depend on the judge, some are pretty casual about it, whilst others are extremely anti... bit like society. I would argue that there is no need for testing as you have been open about your use and are prepared to work with the court, in whatever they decide.
The hair follicle takes two weeks to break the surface of the scalp and grows at about 1cm a month. Usually a court will order 3 or 6 month testing, but that might be determined by the length of someone’s hair, although they can take it from other areas of the body. Some people think that hair dying will mask it, but it doesn’t work that way and the court will be made aware of any attempts to do so.
The way I see it is that you have two options regarding your usage and contact, you can go the whole hog and state that you will stop completely, or you can do as actd has mentioned and agree not to indulge for 24 hours prior to and during contact. If it’s the whole hog and you have a strict judge, they may order a further test a few months down the line.
It’s important you make the point that you run a successful business and are very active and health aware. A spliff after work works in the same way as a glass of wine does for others, and helps you to relax and unwind. Impress upon them that it in no way impairs your ability to function, either at work or at home and your are successful and hard working in all aspects of your life.
I would offer to moderate your use around child contact, but if the court would rather this stopped altogether, you wouldn’t have a problem complying with that.
All the best
Re cannabis use itself I think this is tricky. Whilst I do spend time with friends who smoke it my own views are that if you are going through the courts to get access to your kids then you should stop using it. I don't believe it can be compared to alcohol in moderation as one is legal and one is illegal and therefore would leave you open to suggestions of being a poor role model, engaging in criminal activity (possession etc) and even though all on the minimal scale if you have an ex determined to restrict contact then why add something else to the mix.
I appreciate stopping can be difficult although there is support out there and also get the whole we should be able to decide what we want to do etc but I think the wider view needs to be taken in the context of going through court for access to our children.
Just my view.
Thanks
Daddyup..
I feel sorry for you, mate. In my opinion, your partner or ex-partner just looking for a reason to get rid of you and limit your time with your kids.
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