[Solved] can she ask for more?

Hi life,

If CMO have told you how much you should be paying then that is the amount you should be paying. It is based on your income not on how much your ex is spending.

Here is a link to their calculator it calculates maintenance according to the new Child Maintenance Service scheme. Here is a link to how it's all worked out

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Just an extra note on this, when i found out he was in nursery I did say to her that she could have asked me if I could (or my mum) would have him on the days she works. No answer! (obviously). TBH my mum would have had him for free (I work FT) and she would have loved to have done this.

This sounds like a perfectly reasonable offer - it is a shame that she didn't take you up on it.

Gooner

Hi Life

Gooner is right,whatever the figure Child Maintenance Options worked out for you is exactly all you have to pay,any extra is entirely up to youself,its good that you are doing it via a Standing Order because at least you have all the proof on Bank Statements,what I do is when I have my Statement come through I circle the payment and then put that into a separate folder so then if questions are asked I can just hand the folder over.

I was the one that opened up a case with Child Maintenance Service as like yourself I had the ex keep throwing them at my face even though I never failed with a payment,i guess she thought it was power over me so I took that power away and opened up a case,all I can say is take her threats with a pinch of salt,you are paying what is required and you can hold your head up high.

Thanks guy's

Yeah I have a letter from CMO stating how much to pay.

Just glad that she can't claw the nursery fees on top! -- Not that I would begrudge his education. I just begrudge her!

That's good mate that you have it in black and white,as I said keep your statements in a separate folder aswell so if the day comes where its said that you have paid nothing then you can pull that folder out and say "here it is"

Also make sure on your standing order it has the reference 'Child Maintenance'

I can understand about how you begrudge the ex of the money because I know my ex needs the money for my little boy but I would rather put it in a fund for him for when hes older as the only issue I have is that us dads don't have a say where our money gets spent,who knows if its going to our child or other kids the ex has from previous relationships or on herself but unfortunately we don't get a say,all I would suggest is if you have got spare money at any time then open up a Trust Fund for him then he will have a little bit of money for when he is older then he can take you out for a beer haha.

Funnily enough, i'm a forrester member and got my boy a JISA 2 days after his birth. It gets paid in to every month. Not a lot as I can't afford it but a token amount every month. It will accumulate nicely at the age of 21 when he can have it.

That's great mate maybe he will be buying you more than one beer haha,may not be a lot but it soon adds up and even if its something towards a car or holiday then he will appreciate it very much.

I was the one that opened up a case with Child Maintenance Service as like yourself I had the ex keep throwing them at my face even though I never failed with a payment,i guess she thought it was power over me so I took that power away and opened up a case,all I can say is take her threats with a pinch of salt,you are paying what is required and you can hold your head up high.

I would advise doing what Lewy has done to any one whose ex threatens CMS
a. as, for Lewy - it's taken that power away
b. you don't suddenly find that your ex applied and because the CMS were slow, you are suddenly stung for arrears
c. only the person who opens the case can close it, as far as I know, so when you think maintenance is due to end, you can close it rather than hoping your ex will tell the truth about child benefit, leaving education etc.

Thank you actd

Best thing I done was open up a case myself as it is set in stone and can have nothing thrown at me,i am paying my way towards my sons upbringing and it is worked out by Child Maintenance fair and square,my advice Life is to ring them up and open up a case then that's power you have taken away from your sons mother because she wants you to feel undermimed and scared and her threatening them onto you is giving her pleasure and power.

The day you open the case is the day you are responsible for paying through their system so as actd says just in case its slow then put money aside ready for when its all worked out,mine only took just under 3 weeks as I told them I have no issues with paying and that I wanted to pay for my little boy.

And also actd is right,the person who opens the case can close it at any time they want.

Seriously consider this Life because if it is really playing on your mind then you need to sort it out for your own sake,Child Maintenance were brilliant to deal with and to talk to and since the charges have come into force I do believe that they give the dads a chance to do it on Direct Pay first to show them that we are willing to pay on time every time but if you fault with a payment without a reasonable excuse then they will switch onto the Pay and Collect system which then adds on 20% to what you are paying.

I know there are some women who would try and put the dads on the Collect and Pay System just to spite them so they pay more but in reality them doing this limits the dad on money which could be spent on his son/daughter but in their mind its all about revenge but I am happy that the Child Maintenance Team see this hence why its done on Direct Pay Scheme first.

Hi Lifeneedsharmony

Thank you for your post. Child maintenance is a contribution towards the cost of bringing up a child and this includes not only such items as food and clothing but also it is a contribution towards the home that the child lives in and the associated costs of running that home. Paying parents are legally responsible only for the amount worked out by the Child Maintenance Service, and are not obliged to pay for anything extra.

With a family-based arrangement there are no strict rules or formulas to follow when calculating child maintenance, as they are not legally enforceable. You and the other parent can decide what is included within your agreement.

You will find information and support on the Child Maintenance Options website at http://www.cmoptions.org, which may help you and your ex-partner with your agreement between yourselves.

You will find the Talking about Money Guide and the Discussion Guide which are full of information about how you and your ex-partner can plan your conversation and indicates the cost of raising children.

Child Maintenance Options are a free impartial and confidential service that provides information on the different options that are available to put a maintenance arrangement in place. Any calculations that are sent out or given from Child Maintenance Options, are an indication based on the information provided by the customer, to what may be payable, they are not an exact amount.

For more information on the different ways to set up child maintenance, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website. They also have a sorting out separation web-app that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.

Regards

William

Thank you thank you thank you for this post.

I've just done the maintenance calculations and realised that my delightful ex has been asking me to pay 3 times the amount i actually am 'required' to pay.

I have no issue in paying for my child. I'm more than happy to offer above the rate i'm supposed to pay and then buy anything my daughter needs on top of this myself, however the amount she was asking for as a monthly cash sum was impossibly nuts.

Oh to be fly on the wall when you break this news to her.