Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi, am new to this so hope i am in the right place.
My partner and I parted 8 yrs ago.We have a daughter who is 16 and will be starting A levels in Sept.
They live in a rural setting (by choice) however the school bus is no longer free once you complete GCS'es
which our daughter has.
My ex partner is asking for additional monies to cover the bus fares.
I have always paid child maintenance since the day they left.Initially £170 monthly..based on my income.I retired 4 yrs ago
and my monthly payment to her is now £130 monthly based on my pension income.I have been happy to pay additional monies over the years for school trips ,french exchange,holidays and outward bound courses.I also give my daughter £20 monthly in pocket money.
I think the nub of the issue over the years has been our different perceptions of what that money is for.My ex partner has always seen it as being part of the general budget.There have been times when I have had to buy clothes and shoes for my daughter because she has either grown out of them or what she has is not appropriate for the weather.When I say anything to her Mother about this....she always responds by saying she cannot afford to buy her these things.Don't get me wrong,she is a great mother and not a bad person,however she does not manage money very well (a contributory factor in our breakup).Two years ago she rang me in tears to say she had no money for the rent and they would be chucked out and become homeless.I transferred £1000 pounds to her account as a gift.Since this time her partner has moved in with her and my ex partner continues to earn £30,000 pa.
Recently whilst on holiday with my daughter she also described the money I send each month as not especially for her but for her contribution to the rent,food,electricity and telephone every month!
I want to say to my ex partner to take the money for bus fares out of the money I already give.
I would welcome any comments.
Thanks
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.