[Solved] Am I being unreasonable?

Hello onemansstruggle

As you have a family-based arrangement in place, there are no set rules to follow. The arrangement can include anything that you both agree to. Therefore, the amount paid can also be anything that you can both agree to.

If you have a used an Online Calculator to decide on the amount you pay, you would not be expected to pay anything else on top of that. However, your ex could apply to the Child Maintenance Service at any time and as you mentioned that you pay less than the calculator states, you may then see your payments increase.

The amount that you pay is based on your personal income and is not dependant on what your ex’s income is as it is your personal contribution to your children’s upkeep.

If you would like some information about the different options available to you and to receive a more personalised service, you can contact Child Maintenance Options directly, http://www.cmoptions.org

The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a web application, ‘Sorting out separation’. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation

Regards

William

I think the main issue here is, we had an agreement for me to pay lower maintenance in return for her getting 70% of the house equity (which is probably around £60k now), all the house contents and me staying on yhe mortgage so she kept the house. I walked away with virtually nothing and no means of getting a mortgage on my own and being mid-40's leaves me in a bad situation.

Now, because she kept the house and is living outside of hear means, despite this agreement she is now asking for money and going back on the agreement. I gave up a lot and have affected my future quite significantly for my kids. While she sites in a £250k house with lots of money sitting in it and actually takes home more than i do, i have virtually no savings, no house and now being asked for money money.

I would do anything for my kids, but there are principals in play here and i feel like everything i gave means nothing and im being chased for more and more. If i give in and move away from the agreement now whats to stop more and more being asked for again. Im trying to save for my future too, so I can give a home for my kids too.

The reality is, she should downsize to a more suitable home with an affordable mortgage. She would pocket a large sum of cash and have an affordable mortgage. We could then use the CMS calc to adjust my maintenance payments and I would be free from the mortgage and could look to start and build my own financial life again before its not too late