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Newbie here,
I have 3 children with my ex wife (divorced 2009). Eldest son is 20 in Jan, daughter is 18 in Feb, youngest son is 15. Prior to our divorce we had been split for several months. In that period she fell pregnant with a man who didn't want to know, but she kept the child. Being the person my parents raised me to be I wanted this 4th child to grow up with a father so took on that role from day one and have never looked back. He is not adopted and I have no legal rights over him. I suppose I could not vision myself picking up my 3 with another little boy asking "what about me" and not understanding. Having 3 kids I thought one more isn't going to be any issue and it hasn't.
Divorce proceedings (financial side) produced a court order to pay child maintenance to my 3 only until they are 18 or left full time education (whichever comes first). My eldest is working now and I no longer pay for him. So it's just the 2 left.
I re married a new partner and now have a 4 year old and a 8 month old with her. (Call me mad, I hear it at work daily).
Up until this week I have paid maintenance to the ex on a mutually agreed court order every month without fail. I even took out 2 x 4 year mobile phone contracts for the eldest kids to get them through school/college/work which all have now ended. Taken all the kids on holidays etc.
My ex this week has contacted me to say she wants me to pay for my daughter until Aug now (not when she turns 18 in Feb) I realise that the school term ends in Aug so I agreed to continue paying. She also now wants a further increase based on the new CSM calculator she used. I tested the calculator and the payments show and increase of over £140 as its based on Gross salary, whereas before the court based it on Net. She is making all sorts of threats to take this through CSM if I don't pay up.
It frustrates me that everything was fine up to now, she isn't struggling I can tell you that. What really gets me is although I don't pay for the 4th non biological child I still have him round mine when my others come. She doesn't go running off to find his actual dad to make payments and there is nothing I can do about that. She never asks me to pay for him but clearly I do pay towards his upkeep with doing everyday normal life things.
I also don't wish to raise this issue with her too much as I feel I would only be using him as a chess porn piece which is unfair.
Suggestions welcome
Hi there
It's a tough one...she can open a case with the CMS as a court order for maintenance can be overridden by the CMS after it's been in effect for 12 months.
The only thing I can suggest is that you meet with her and offer a smaller increase and explain that you have great love and loyalty for the non bio child but there are extra outgoings for him that you feel she should take into account. As you have two further children you should try and appeal to her better judgement, point out that they are half siblings to your children with her and if you were forced to pay through the CMS their quality of life would be adversely affected.
Do you know of any reason why she has all of a sudden bought this up?
...I've deleted your duplicate post in the welcome section, it's always better to keep to one thread, otherwise it can be confusing. 🙂
Hello Starlord
Any Consent Orders that were endorsed after March 2003 are not legally subject to change unless they have been in place for at least 12 months. After 12 months, either parent can apply to the Child Maintenance Service and the Consent Order will no longer be valid. However, if a Consent Order dates back to before April 2003, then law does not allow parents to change over to the Child Maintenance Service. Only the courts can arrange child maintenance in such circumstances.
If you have any further queries regarding your Consent Order you may wish to seek legal advice.
The Child Maintenance Service works out child maintenance using the paying parent's gross income, which is income before Income Tax and National Insurance are taken off, but after occupational or personal pension scheme contributions are taken away. In most cases this gross income figure comes from information given to HM Revenue & Customs by the paying parent, their employer or a third-party such as an accountant.
I have included a link on how the Child Maintenance Service works and how they calculate child maintenance that you may find useful, https://www.gov.uk/how-child-maintenance-is-worked-out/how-the-child-maintenance-service-works-out-child-maintenance.
For more information on all the different ways to set up child maintenance and for a more personalised service, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website at http://www.cmoptions.org.
The DWP have a sorting out separation web-app that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.
Regards
William
It's not clear why she has raised this except she said she has been speaking with another single mum who clearly gets more than her. It's also clear to me that as my daughter is turning 18 soon this has now come to light whilst she has been looking online. I don't know what figures she has been using in the new calculator as she won't have any idea of my pension contributions to work out correctly my gross weekly rate. When I input the figures it stands that I should be paying a further £60. Like the post above this would have a detrimental affect on other siblings especially since there have been no issues to date. I will naturally point this out. When I spoke to CSM myself about the non bio child I was told its her choice if she doesn't claim against the bio dad. I just think that 8 years ago I took a moral decision to raise him as my own, I know I don't pay payment for him but I still raise him and he gets birthdays and Christmas alike. I'm being threatened left right and centre but there is no mention of the bio dad being auctioned against. This ultimately is the difference of a weeks grocery shop which taken away will cause major issues. The law was suppose to be there to protect me when I got divorced and this entire 12 month rule that's come from nowhere is utter nonsense in my opinion. Our government make up these rules to suit them when they like and people are taking advantage of it all.
If your daughter continues in full time non advanced education after she turns 18 and up until she reaches the age of 20 you would still be liable to pay Maintenance for her.
I do feel that the system is flawed and in today's "equal society" I think it would be fair to take both parents income into account...unfortunately that's not about to happen anytime soon.
Try talking to her, she may not have thought about the implications for the youngest child if your finances are stretched to breaking point and although you don't want to use him as bargaining tool you may not have much choice...all the best.
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