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Hi all
I wanted to find out if I should be paying child maintenance payments for my son.
Ok, were to start, my son, who turns 17 in May lives with my ex, not that it matters here but she is a deceitful money hungry type of person who will do whatever she can to claw every penny she can.
Basically my son was diagnosed with Aspergers around the time he started high school, he also suffers mental health issues, depression and anxiety, he was taken out of mainstream education and put into special needs education.
I still to this day so not feel he has Aspergers, I feel his mother has pushed this so much over the years that she finally got the diagnosis SHE believed was true, my son is vastly overweight and suffered bullying because of this, I believe this is the issue not any form of autism or Aspergers!
Anyways my son finished his special needs education in September, he went on to go to a special needs further education program that teaches life skills etc, as far as I'm aware this does not give him the chance to gain any further qualifications, although I'm not 100% sure of this, his mother is very vague with her answers when I ask her about it all, my son refuses to go to this training centre and as far as I'm aware has t been for around a month now, she is happy for him to stay in bed all day and fill his face with rubbish getting even bigger, he must weigh 20+ stone now!
I'm also adamant, knowing the type of person she is that she will be claiming every conceivable benefit she can for my son, seeing he is marked as having Aspergers and mental health problems I'm sure she will be taking the system for all she can get.
I would like to know, seeing my son is not attending this place he is meant to be and the fact he is almost 17 and she will be claiming all she can because of his diagnosis's should I still be paying maintenance payments?
I should also mention I pay without any form of csa asgrement, I have paid without fail since we separated via direct debit from my bank account.
Apologies for going if topic a few times during my post, I have had so much stress over the years around this, his diagnosis, his weight issue etc etc I've tried my dam hardest to be involved and to try and help but I have always been shunned, suppose it's nice to be able to vent a bit.
What should I do in regards to the maintenance payments please?
Many thanks in advance.
Hi there
It's a tricky one I'm afraid... if you were paying through the CSA and she is still claiming child benefit, they would expect you to continue to pay maintenance for him. The fact that he has mental health issues, it would probably be acceptable for him to take time off without there being penalties and if he is enrolled that would probably stand regardless of his absences.
As you have an informal agreement you could try and renegotiate with her, but if you stopped payments she could quite easily open a case with the CMS.
Sorry I can't be more helpful 🙂
Hello I44nw
As Mojo mentioned, child maintenance is generally expected to be paid until a child reaches 20 years old if they are in full-time, non-advanced education and while ever your son is eligible to receive Child Benefit.
You can find more information about when child maintenance and Child Benefit stops on Gov.uk at https://www.gov.uk/when-child-maintenance-payments-stop.
If you are unhappy with your current child maintenance arrangement with your son’s mother, you may wish to consider re-negotiating your agreement. There are some tools and guide that may be helpful to you on http://www.cmoptions.org.
For more information on the different ways to set up child maintenance and for a more personalised service, you can contact Child Maintenance Options.
The DWP have a sorting out separation website that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: https://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/.
Regards
William
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