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Hi all,
I am in need of some advice on a rather strange situation. I recently moved back to the UK after living in the states for a number of years. I was happily paying child support there through remo as my ex refused to sort it out between ourselves (even though remo, the CSA in the US and the CSA in the UK all said not to use remo as the courts will charge a service fee....she didn't listen and then complained!!). Anyway...I am now back over here but work and get paid abroad even though I reside in the UK. I thought stupidly that we had sorted out payments between us, but little did I know that she had gone to the CSA again. As I pay EU taxes and not UK ones, the CSA said that I was out of their jurisdiction. Remo said the same thing and both said to work it out between us (sound familiar!!). She has now taken me to court. I took a massive pay drop to come back over here and the whole reason of coming back was to be closer to my daughter. All of my travel to and from work is out of my own pocket and I also have to run a house with a family of 5. I am currently giving her all I can afford and anymore would literally result in me having to give up work as I couldn't afford to get there otherwise. I am literally living hand to mouth (I don't drink, smoke, go out, no holidays and rarely see my daughter who I came back for) and if it wasn't for my parents helping...I would've sunk a long time ago. Moving back has been great in being close to family again...but financially, it has ruined me. If the court says I have to pay more I will sink instantly. Can anyone help advise me on what to do and where I stand?
Many thanks in advance
I'm not sure what the courts would do, but I can't imagine that they would stray too far from the CSA calculation.
Hi Nerrad.
Thank you for your post. I am William the Child Maintenance Options consultant.
I understand that your ex-partner has already contacted the courts. However, if you are able to discuss and negotiate with her, you could choose to try and sort out child maintenance between yourselves. It can be the quickest and easiest way of arranging child maintenance, and we call it a family-based arrangement.
Negotiating child maintenance can be better than having a solution imposed on you, as long as you feel comfortable entering into discussions with your ex-partner. The important thing is to try and improve your relationship to a stage where you can work together to come to an agreement. But if negative feelings get in the way between you a negotiated agreement is unlikely to succeed.
A family-based arrangement is simply an agreement between the two of you about who will provide what for your daughter. It is not legally binding but it is flexible, so it allows you and your ex-partner to negotiate an agreement that suits you both. It can include money and other kinds of support, for example providing clothes or paying for activities.
If you feel that mediation may help the two of you to come to an agreement, Gov.uk (which is a Government website) has a service which may help you to find mediator in your area. You can find this at: http://find-legal-advice.justice.gov.uk/.
Alternatively, to help you make a family-based arrangement, we have got several guides that you may find useful. We have a Child maintenance decisions: Information for parents living apart from their child guide, which gives details of the options available to you and offers information to help you with the negotiation process. We also have a Child maintenance decisions: A guide to talking about money, this provides information around discussing finances and agreeing child maintenance. You can download these from our website at: http://www.cmoptions.org. We also have a Discussion guide on our website.
For an idea how much child maintenance could be worked out by the Child Support Agency (CSA), you can use the online calculator that is available on our website. You could use this figure as a starting point for negotiations to make a family-based arrangement.
You can record details of your arrangement on our family-based arrangement form. Although this is not a legally enforceable document, it puts the agreement on a more formal basis. You can complete it together and sign your names to show your commitment to this arrangement. You can also download this form from our website.
If you are unable to set up a family-based arrangement and you do have to use the courts, you can arrange a Consent Order. As actd has said, the courts do usually use the CSA calculation as a starting point.
You and your ex-partner will need to agree how much child maintenance will be paid and how often before going to court. You can agree this either privately between yourselves, through a solicitor or a mediator. Once an agreement has been made, you can then ask the court to approve and authorise the Consent Order. This does usually happen when you are going to court for other reasons, such as arranging a divorce or dividing your property or other assets. Arranging a Consent Order can be costly as fees for solicitors, mediators and court costs may apply.
I understand that you have concerns about how much the court may ask you to pay and if they follow the CSA guidelines they will take in to account the children you have living with you. If you would like further information about how the CSA work out child maintenance, you may wish to take a look at the following link: https://www.gov.uk/how-child-maintenance-is-worked-out/how-the-child-support-agency-works-out-child-maintenance. You may find their guide called 'How child maintenance is worked out' particularly useful. This is also available to view on the link above.
To find out more about how Child Maintenance Options can help you visit cmoptions.org or call us free on 0800 988 0988 between 8am and 8pm Monday to Friday or 9am and 4pm on Saturday.
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