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Hi Guys,
I am a 29 year old single dad of a 3 year old, he lives with me full time which was an agreement with his mother (35 with 2 teenage sons from previous relationship)
So we never did the custody thing nor have I gone down the route of child maintenance. Partly because I don't really need it I can pay for him perfectly fine on my own and also just to make my life easier saving the row.
It was put to me the other day that maybe I should have a custody agreement in place the older he gets. Now he sees his mum every Wednesday and every other weekend (yes its not a lot but it's just what she seems happy with) I do offer her extra evenings or days when i know she is off however she has always already made plans with her friends so doesn't generally think about having him any extra time.
She is soon to introduce him to her new boyfriend which personally is a massive problem for me but that's more because of me being his dad and i don't really like the idea of another father figure in his life and he won't be depending a lot of time with my son anyway.
I also seem to be having a problem getting over my ex which is madness considering i caught her about to cheat on me and generally find her childish and cruel.
Just seeing if anyone is in a similar position and advice - I have friends and family but never being in this position their advice is often unhelpful haha
Hi there
It's a difficult one to advise on... on the one hand your arrangement is working, so why interfere with it by attempting to make it official. It could rock the boat and she could decide to start being difficult.
However, if she is settling down and is introducing your child to her new partner, she may decide that she wants to be more involved, she may even consider taking over as the primary parent... this is where an order comes to the fore. At the moment there's nothing to stop her keeping him after one of his visits, it has happened to other members.
As for your feelings for her, we can't just switch them off unfortunately, perhaps seeing her move on with someone else has stirred up your emotions just now, hopefully they will settle, just concentrate on your son and be kind to yourself.
All the best
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