Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Still not heard any more from the CMS. I uploaded my D81 that was provided with the consent order. In there is states Children live with mother and father 50:50 shared care. Just want this resolved. 😔
Hi,
How long ago did you send the documents? CMS take very long time. Took them 10 weeks + 1 complaint to make changes about shared care/overnights in my case. Have proactively keep chasing them for update.
Well they got back to me and I have to pay. So going to seek legal advice.
@san77 man I'm really sorry to hear that. I think unfortunately you need to pay but you can go to tribunal and hopefully will win. My ex hasn't applied yet but I suspect it is just a matter of time. It feels so unfair.
@dad23 yes even though it's 50:50 care the parental responsibility has to be proven. So in my consent order we said will pay equal costs in lieu of CMS. But as she has applied I will not pay equal costs. See if I now can get a c100 done. Not nice as we have had an arrangement now for 4 years. 3 years divorce next month.
@san77 Will you let us know how it goes. I'm utterly terrified of this happening to me. I'm routing for you buddy, and wish I had better news.
@dad23 yes no problem. I got divorced in 2020. In consent order states equal share and half for costs like uniform etc. No one will apply to CMS. Ex has decided to apply to CMS and will cost me £55 a week for both children 50:50 care. CMS response is I don't have court order for shared parenting. I am going there not now pay for anything halves. Will appeal the decision. I just don't want to goto court and get the kids involved. I even recieve the child benefit and pay ex half. Does not seem fair. She has remarried and has another child.
Hi, just wanted to provide an update. I called CMS 20th Dec 2022. Told them that we look after children equally and even day-to-day care. They asked me to provide evidence that I receive child benefit and pay ex half, I provided records from 2019 that I pay half to all kid's school items and activities in lieu of child maintenance, gave them my letter of reconsideration, private pension information, court order etc. I am waiting for the outcome of the case. Either will be closed or payments reduced. But CMS advised me that I can open up a case against my ex also as we are shared care. I told them this is a bit too much, but they see this all the time. So let's wait for the backlog to clear. I will need to start making my first payment tomorrow 1st Feb. CMS also advised I do not have to pay half for anything as payments start. So lets see what happens.
@san77 ridiculous there is such a back log. please let us know how it turns out, and personally I would appeal any decision that isn't to close it all the way up to a tribunal. Good luck.
@dad23 Hi, yes my plan is to do a mandatory reconsideration after the case result if it does not come out fair. They have even said it has not reached mandatory consideration stage. If that fails, I will go to tribunal. The thing is ex will be worse off with me paying her current £240.29 and if these payments become lower. But suggesting to me, I can also open up a maintenance claim, makes this all messy. 4 years since separating and 3 years divorced, why the ex decided to go against what was arranged on consent order is beyond belief.
Hi All,
Another update - so I have started to pay £240.29 from the 1st Feb. Ex has realised that she is worse off, she keeps asking me for more money. I have told ex as she decided to go for CMS, as per consent order I now will not pay half for everything. I told her you can't have CMS and half for other things, which has not gone down well.
I called CMS yesterday, and they're still waiting on Child benefit proof that I am the one receiving it. Today I uploaded a letter showing them I am receiving this for both children. I have previously uploaded bank statements showing im receiving and then paying half to ex. CMS are slow even when you chase them up. Even CMS said to me if im paying CMS I dont have to pay half for other things. CMS even said I can open a case against ex as shared care is in place? I can see this becoming a really long process. I have not even go to the mandatory reconsideration stage.
I have decided I will see what happens with the case after providing lots of evidence. If the case closes, fine, but will watch what I do pay for moving forward. If the case stays open, I will then do a mandatory consideration and the tribunal. Will aim to get the payments stopped or reduced down as much as I can. I have been strong against my ex who is very abusive with messages and has no boundaries, now my turn to make a stand.
@san77 I mean... if she is worse off this way then it sounds like she has an incentive to withdraw the claim, and that will always be significantly easier than going via CMS (but she could always reopen it).
@dad23 thanks I am not sure what she is going to do. I am waiting for CMS to change the primary carer to be as I receive child benefit. I have told them there is no primary carer. We care day to day for them equally. CMS even said I can open a case, which is not something I want to do. I was happily paying 50:50 for everything, but not sure why the ex opened a claim. I have even provided evidence to CMS from 2019 to 2022 of what we have both paid for.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.