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Hi
I am new here, but hope for some advice
I have two beautiful daughters aged 8 and 13, I split from thete mum 5 years ago and we had an agreement in place were care was shared on a basis of one week I would have them 3 nights a d 4 the next. Over the holidays this reduced as my ex works term time only , I paid £250 per month and half of all expenses and still had the girls for weekends and holidays plus tea on my normal nights.
I got martied in August this year and this has been tbe start of stress, my ex decided I was not paying enough and wanted more money, I declined and stated I would have on a 50/50 basis over the whole year using my A/L during holidays so tbe girls could stop with me, I have also paid half of all expenses, and met all of the care needs when the girls are with me , dentist, hairdressers, school and anything else required.
The CSA wrote to me and I explained all this and that it was equal care, I was told case advisor would contact me, today I got a letter informing ime that I was on Band C at 52 nights per year with a payment of £285 per month. I.have spoke to tbe CSA raised an appeal and complaint, I was advised that they took the information my ex gave to them in coming to the decision.
My question is this should I pay the payment whist in dispute with CSA, do.i deduct the payments I have made so far for child care and school clubs?
Should I inform my ex of my appeal, its not an easy relationship and I suspect she has applied to family court, because of my wish to have my girls 50/50.
Would it help if I applied for CB for one, this will cause a fall out...
Any advise please I feel sick with stress
hi,
CMS are very rigid. without a formal arrangement like a court order in place, they will now expect you to pay the amount they calculated for you. They have some silly rules, like if there is a dispute about overnight shared care, they call it assumed shared care and will put you down as having kids 1 night a week, unless your ex tells them you have kids more. for now I would suggest you only pay the £285 they calculated. if your on direct pay scheme, pay it into ex bank account with the reference: CHILD MAINTENANCE. It now seems only way to correct this is by getting a court order, stating how many nights kids stay with you, or whether it is equal 50/50 day to care between both parents (which means there is no maintenance to pay)
I don't think you should apply for child benefit at this stage. Child benefit will likely ask for evidence like a court order. if you have another child living with you, if you tell CMS, they will reduce your payment slightly. and will also reduce if you spend a lot on travel to pick up and drop kids. needs to be minimum £10 per week expense.
My understanding is that if there is a CMS order in place, then you only need to pay that sum to your ex, and bear any ‘overnight costs’ when the children stay with you, I.e. provide housing and food etc. If you pay this and nothing else then there is no basis of complaint against you. All other day-to-day costs, such as school fees, clothing, school trips, even pocket money are legally the responsibility of your ex to pay for.
However, if you do genuinely share ALL costs - i.e. equal nights residence (and thus equal overnight costs), AND all other day to day costs such as those I mention above, as well as equal responsibilities such as doctor, dentist etc. AND you can demonstrate/prove this then this is called Shared Care (note not simply overnight shared care which is something different and still means that you pay your ex in lieu of day to day care costs) and if proven the the CMS should rule that no maintenance is payable at all.
Other experts on here may know better, but I would advise that if you are happy to pay CM and for your ex to be responsible for day to day care then refuse to pay for anything over and above the CM amount (except stuff that you may wish to pay for although it isn’t enforced, such as some pocket money for example). However if you wish to genuinely share ALL costs and have the CM case rescinded completely, then carry on paying half of everything and try and convince the CMS of this. Others have mentioned that a court order to this effect is something that the CMS will listen to.
Happy to be corrected by anyone on here ..
Good luck.
I agree with the above - what you don't want to do is to get into arrears with CMS as they will then put you onto collect and pay, which will add another 20% onto your monthly payment (goes to CMS, not your ex, and she actually has a fee deducted from what she is paid), so I would pay as you have been requested, but do not pay anything above that cost, CMS consider that what you are paying is all you need to pay - they won't "credit" you with anything you pay above this. Hopefully, your ex will see that there is no benefit to her actions and it can revert to normal. I would also look at getting your contact arrangements formalised.
Thank-you for the replys I have now appealed the decision and provoded evidence that care is 50/50 and equal, I have also attached emails were my ex has said it's 50/50 , I have also raised a formal complaint about not been contacted by CMS and asked to explain there decision making process. I will see were this gets me.
My ex has been clear I need to continue to pay for schooll fees, lunchs and social activities, and I have done so to demonstrate the on going equal care. The whole system is so unfair.
I also didn't realise the cms would inform my ex what I earned per week...I am just at a loss for words how poorly treated the system is towards the father.
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