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Good Morning everyone.
My mind is spiralling at the moment and trying to work out where I stand, so any advice would be greatly appreciated.
My situation:
3 children. 2 exes. Each ex has one child living with them. I have 1 child living with me 7 nights per week.
I have both of my non resident children stay with me on average 2 nights per week (it's actually 7 whole days every 14 days but that counts for nothing apparently and my preference would be to have 50:50 shared custody).
I have a private arrangement with the 1st ex (our son is the child who lives with me). The second ex and I have a signed and witnessed agreement when we split which included the days per week we would each have the him and an amount of maintenance to be paid. (Not signed by solicitor).
Things were quite amicable and we would each pay 50% of everything he needed, such as clothing, hobbies, school trips, breakfast and after school club. The agreement allowed us both to have a home for him near to school.
He spends 7 days out of 14 with me so with regards to his accommodation I feel that I am providing for him fairly in that regard too.
After 20 months she is going back on it and is threatening to go to CSA for more money.
My preference would be to pay half of everything while maintaining some input into which hobbies, clothes, trips etc. 100% CSA will totally remove that input.
Tmi believe she has worked out what she is thinks she is entitled to incorrectly.
I believe the actual amount to be half what she says, which will be significantly less than I lay now.
The problem is I don't know which government calculator to use. There appears to be two. One allows me to input the details based on two exes and one child living with me, the other doesn't. One gives a final payment that is double the other calculators amount.
Round figures for my situation are:
Income before tax £39000 / year
Work pension 9.3%
No benefits
2 non resident children (104 - 154 nights per year)
1 resident child (I receive child benefit)
What is my legal financial responsibility to each mother?
(The mother of my resident child has no income so I could not claim any maintenance from her)
My experience with the CSA has historically been dreadful and as such I want to avoid any dealings with them at all costs.
Many thanks,
Angus
Use this calculator - https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
Put all your details in here, and that you are the NRP for 2 kids and then one living with you. The calculator does not take into account that the Kids you are NRP to have different mothers. Therefore the figure that is presented to you is for the 2 kids in total, so half will go to each mother.
I have put your figures into the calculator, and its given me a total of £69 per week, which equates to £3588 per year and £300 per month. So per mother this is £34.50 per week, or £150 per month.
The CMS use HMRC end of year figures to do their calculations, and it may be that they use one from a couple of years back, so bear this in mind when working out your figures. it seems pot luck what they use. For some reason they have used the 2016 - 2017 tax year for me for my 2018 and 2019 annual reviews! This suits me as this is lower that other years, but within the 25% threshold.
They are very very difficult to deal with, so I agree you should stay away from them if possible,
Hi Yoda,
Thank you so much for your reply!
I will use the calculator you linked to and present that to her. I may have totally missed it but I have not seen anywhere in the government calculator site that mentions halving the result for two mothers and I assume she has done the same, however of course it makes perfect sense now you mention it!
Do you (or anyone with experience of it here) know what is the NRPs legal responsibility for payment towards childcare etc over and above the CSA payment?
For instance, I need to use the out of school club Mon to Fri every other week so I can go to work. Do I have to pay her CSA and pay for the out of school club?
I am absolutely not trying to get out of paying for them, infact the CSA route will cost me less, I want it to be as unappealing for her as possible so that we can stick to the shared financial responsibility, which will actually see me paying more per month, but at least being involved in the day to day care and decision making.
Once again Yoda, thank you.
Angus
I am sure someone will be along if the belwo is incorrect in anyway, but I am answering to the best of my knowledge and dealings with the CMS.
As far as I am aware anything above and beyond your CMS responsibility, you are not required by law to pay any extra. But given they are within your care for the time that you want them to go to after school club, I personally would see this as your responsibility, and if I see it this way, I am [censored] sure the CMS would as they are far far far less reasonable than me! But that is why there are reductions in payments for overnight stays to cover costs such as this.
If your kids are with you Monday to Friday every other week, then that to me seems as though this is some kind of 50/50 shared care agreement?
Try to avoid the CMS at all costs, if it will cost you slightly more to go private with the mother, do it. It will save you so much stress. I cant reiterate that enough.
Also are you in England or Scotland? I know the rules in Scotland are slightly different
Hi Yoda,
Yes it is pretty much a 50/50 shared agreement. (When it suits of course for things like school holiday cover, but for maintenance she says it's 30/70)
Despite the name I am currently residing in England.
Angus
Doesn't seem fair that you are paying maintenance at all on a 50/50 legal agreement, but the danger of you upsetting the apple cart and trying to pursue this is that she will stop you from seeing your kids as much to get more maintenance, obviously not ideal.
Good luck and let us know how you get on.
I may need a new topic for this, but I am wondering about raising the issue of a proper 50:50 custody, a full week each.
If she was to say no (does what she want carry more weight than what I want?) what are my chances of getting 50:50 custody if I were to persue it legally / have a judge decide?
I don't think she could argue he shouldn't be with me half the time since she hasn't had a problem sharing so far. Surely shared custody is a reasonable request and the child should be allowed to have equal time with both parents?
Angus
hi,
heres some useful info here:
http://www.separateddads.co.uk/sharedcustodyofyourchildren.html
there have been cases where it has worked. like you have the kids 1 week on, next week off. if you and the ex are on reasonable terms and you have direct communication, then thats very helpful. if you and the ex live close to each other etc.
i saw another thread on here, where someone wrote along the lines of; if you see your kids 2 nights each week, then that is effectively 50/50 shared care.
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