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About a year ago my bf ex left the family home while he was at work taking his three girls with her. He has not had any contact since. his ex occasionally emails him to say hes not seeing the kids anymore. he doesnt want to be around kids this christmas so i have agreed to have him at my house, just me and him and i want to make it nice for him. i have no children and want to help him so i would be greatful to any ideas to try and make this a good christmas for him. i know chirstmas is a very special time for families and just want to be there for him.
I'd consider just a lazy day watching tv and playing silly games might be good rather than anything fancy.
they are great ideas, i have planned footie on boxing day in the pub with a pork pie. but will consider the go carting thing for chirstmas day. more ideas appreciated
thanyou muchly
A game of naked twister might take his mind off things :p Jenga is another good game to play even more so when your 1/2 oiled
a pj day there the best
on another note is your bf taking her to court to get contact
he can not afford to go to court. hes working day and night to make ends meet at the moment. Hes struggling and there is only so much i can do for him. :unsure:
bass you beat me to it
Another, we have just done it, you need a c100 form , look into if he would get legal aid, also does he know where she is
well its a year today since they left, i hope my fella is ok hes not ans text. ive let him know im here. Am i doing the right thing by leaving him to decide ball in his court kinda thing
Hi everyone just thought id give you an update on how the festivities went. well he went early on boxing day after telling me his ex hadnt signed the divorce papers (like he thought). now he says he needs time to think what he wants. im very upset, he says he will ring me monday night. hes cancelled our new years in newcastle so now im on my own new years eve. not sure whats going on, hes cut me out doesnt want to discuss anything with me, feels like ive had my heart cut out.
thankyou everyone for your help i just hope it all gets sorted for him and he gets to see his kids.
Hi, im sorry to hear this, heart break is horrid. Give him time and see what happens, he is in a bad place himself right now and he prob isnt the best person to be around. You have tried to support him . I think you should ask your self if you want this long term and I dont know your situation but have you got children ?
im devastated and very lonely right now, i have no children and yes i know if you dont have children you wouldn't understand. i do but honestly. did he not even think of how it would impact me too. we discussed both christmas and new years at great length he knows how lonely i get on new years. it hurts even more that hes not even communicating with me. i just want to support him. he wanted to stay away from family at christmas and i changed my plans so he could. i was looking forward to going out with him and having some fun. he bought me a ring for christmas and sigh its just come out of no where. hes just cut me out. if he would just tell me i could understand and help him if hes recieved word on his kids then it would be ok and at least i could understand and be ok with it all but no explanation.
am i being extreamly selfish saying i want to support him but he wont let me.
Hi how you feeling today, daft question i expect. i dont think just because you havnt any children you wouldnt understand.
Can you not arrange to go out or see family tonight, I hate new years eve out, to busy and crowded, we are going out mid afternoon then back home early theen pjs on and Jools holland. I wouldnt contact him again he knows where you are, its like hes hiding something from you. I think getting involved with a chap whos going through this torment would never be easy and the long term issues that would occur, for example his ex will always be able to control you will never have any money and does he want any more kids , do you ? Go out dont sit in doors, I have had a broken heart , on the positive note i lost loads of weight and met my now hubby .
i dont want to see my family, all my friends are busy. ive got no where to go. hes phoning me tonight to tell me what hes decided. 🙁
just an update he didnt phone me at all just text me a couple of days later saying that he wanted to concentrate on getting his kids back. Really down, at least i TRIED to help.
Hi another
Sorry to hear this has happened. He probably has very mixed feelings at the moment, and may be feeling sorry for himself, but it's difficult to understand what someone is going through - everyone is different I'm afraid.
At the moment, you need to get yourself into a better place. Get out an start to do things again - it's difficult at first, so try doing something like going to a gym as exercise does promote a feeling of wellbeing, plus it's a good distraction. Did you have any hobbies before you met your bf? If so, pick them up again, just start to get your life back again - it may be that your bf comes around and tries again, or it may be that you decide you want to move on - there's no rush to do that, but the sooner you get 'you' back, the better you'll feel.
Move on, try to find any distraction if are working now then try to focus you work m go out with your friends. As there is a saying that " when someone close their door some one open their window".