[Solved] Emotionally battered

hi,

thanks for that. do you have direct contact with your ex? i asked my barrister whats it like to get shared care, and he just told me to forget about it. he said me and ex dont like eachother, and we do not have direct contact, so stuff like that will make shared care arrangement very difficult to attain. what do you think?

Not as such. There’s a ‘communication book’ which we have to give to each other at handover letting each other know about food eaten by my son, etc. We had to give each other’s mobile number in case of emergency as well. It also supplements any immediate ‘issues’ after contact (rather her trying to be annoying). Other than that there’s thankfully no other contact. Ideally I’d never like to see my ex’s face ever again as it makes me feel sick. But it’s for my son I’m doing this and I need to deal with it. It’s odd that your Barrister is dismissing shared care as most ex’s would rather not see each other. It’s what is best for the Child and not the parents tbh. Keep the fight up if you csn.

Since our seperation and the bitter court battle that has ensued, I don't think I'll ever start a new relationship...

Best of luck to you, Paul. I will say this though: It took me about the same amount of time (3 years) and I found a women who made me realise that they're not all bitter and twisted! The new relationship didn't work out but it had no bitterness ending. It's a shame that I had kids with such a vile woman previously because I now realise how amazing some women can be.

I feel your pain, Paul. I am having the same done to me. I am due my final hearing in December, I have not seen my two girls for 8 months now, and it has killed me. At the recent second hearing, my wife's solicitor said to me, she does not want you to see the kids again. I was unrepresented and she tried to bully me. I went in there and left with a minor success, the court agreed i can see my children twice a month but at a contact centre until the third hearing in December. it is not the contact I want, but it is better than nothing for the time being. The fact is, I got a chance to say my piece in court, not everything i wanted to, but i beat her. She wanted me to have nothing, but i got something.

I have now got a solicitor for this hearing, as i feel it is going to be needed. She has taken my evidence, and is compiling a bundle which will be handed to the judges before the hearing and prove what my wife has said is lies. It is hard knowing that lies are keeping me from our children, the fact my wife knows how much those girls love me, and that she is keeping them from me, shows what she is really like. I have been to court several times, i have been questioned and released by the police, i have had further lies and allegations thrown at me, but i keep knocking them back. Paul, you have come this far now, do not give up. You can't give up. I know how much it will be hurting you, i have felt it too. I cannot remember a day i did not cry. But I stood my ground and I am fighting for what is right. You will do the same, you will have your chance to submit evidence, and you will get what you deserve. You will get to see your daughter again.

Not as such. There’s a ‘communication book’ which we have to give to each other at handover letting each other know about food eaten by my son, etc. We had to give each other’s mobile number in case of emergency as well. It also supplements any immediate ‘issues’ after contact (rather her trying to be annoying). Other than that there’s thankfully no other contact. Ideally I’d never like to see my ex’s face ever again as it makes me feel sick. But it’s for my son I’m doing this and I need to deal with it. It’s odd that your Barrister is dismissing shared care as most ex’s would rather not see each other. It’s what is best for the Child and not the parents tbh. Keep the fight up if you csn.

so what is your work schedule like. do you do a lot of school runs in the week? in my case ex refused mid-week overnights. cafcass also did not recommend it. so i was stuck and just went with few hours mid-week, every other weekend.