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Since our seperation and the bitter court battle that has ensued, I don't think I'll ever start a new relationship.
It's now been 2 and a half years - I've been accused of so many terrible things I can't imagine that any woman would ever consider a relationship with me. Even though I have proof that I've never done these things, I still can see that anyone I entered into a relationship with would possibly have doubts. With these accusations still unresolved, they're hanging over my head.
With months between court hearings, every day is a struggle with the endless uncertainty of how things will turn out. The stress of dealing with court matters, understanding what to do, when to do it, how to do it, is simply overwhelming.
I have absolutely no desire to start again, no money to go out. My children were my life and joy - something precious whilst my relationship was falling apart around my ears. The pain of them not being a part of every day life stings and the control that my ex has over my life and my children's is soul destroying.
I've tried counselling - they were pretty useless to be honest. All they could ever ask was "and how does that make you feel". Starting a new relationship would also stand in the way of my relationship with my children, if that ever gets fixed. But then there's the fear that the courts won't see the truth of what has happened and our relationship will be destroyed forever.
Does it ever get better? I'm amazed that I've managed to keep going all this time but I feel so low every single day and try my hardest to keep pushing on, moving forward, hoping for a better tomorrow. I keep myself occupied as much as possible but find it hard to find joy in anything.
I'm not going to do anything stupid - I would never hurt my children in that way. But dealing with the depression and anxiety is often more than I can cope with. I go through a range of emotions on a daily basis that leave me reeling. Occasionally I feel a glimmer of hope but it's fleeting and soon disappears - especially when a hearing date is near.
Does anyone feel the same? Got any advice?
Hi Paul,
It's been said many times, but time does make things easier to deal with, where you are now that's hard to imagine I know but as you say you get little glimmers of hope and some points where you feel better.
with time those will become more frequent and will last longer until they are out weighing the low times.
we are all here for support and to talk so don't feel alone
GTTS
My ex accused me of all sorts - none of which were true, and were easily disregarded by all except some of her family (and only some, as even they knew what she was like). You know yourself what you are like, so as said, time will heal and when you are ready, take small steps and talk about it to whoever you may go out with.
Hi Paul
Your journey has been arduous and I do understand how important your children are to you and the toll it has taken on you.
Without talking about outcomes, once the court proceedings are over, you will have some closure and be able to concentrate on getting yourself in a better place... court is all consuming and it overtakes everything, seeping into every aspect of life, to the extent that there’s no room for anything else. Once it’s over you will be able to reclaim the space and start to rebuild a new life.
By its very nature, the court process keeps you anchored in the past, making it virtually impossible to make plans for the future. Try and take some time out occasionally, go and do something just for you.... maybe hook up with friends or just spend the day doing something you enjoy.
Many of us have experienced incredible lows in our common journey back to our children... it’s the nature of the beast. Keep talking and sharing how you feel and you’ll work your way through it .... all the best.
hi paul i cannot really give advice im sorry, but i do no were you are now,, as im the same, what i will say every thing will pas ,, time wont stand still nothing and i mean nothing ever dose, take care mate
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