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Just recently my five year old (almost 6 in fact) has started crying alot.
It all boils down to the fact she's started to play outside and go round her friends house more often, mostly its when shes told no for various reasons, either she can't play out because the weathers bad or the other girl cant come out to play, or it all boils down to a seeming unwillingness to share properly.
She's an only child and up until recently only really had the opportunity to play with other kids whilst at school as we don't really know other people that live locally with children the same age until just recently.
I've tried explaining to her that she can't keep crying like this, especially as the other little girl is seemingly beginning to tire of the behaviour (she has 3 sisters who are all older than her). I realise its because she's an only child and I realise its probably down to a lack of experience of sharing etc, the crying when being refused something is something we thought we'd tackled a couple of years ago, we don't turn her away alot but we don't let her get her own way.
So is there anything we can try to overcome this or is it just a matter of time before she grows out of it so to speak?
I'm sorry you've noticed this change in your daughter's behaviour. I wonder if perhaps in a quiet moment you could try to encourage your daughter to talk. Say something like, 'You seem to be a bit unhappy these days. Can you tell me about it?' or 'Sometimes you look so cross about things. What's going on?'
Sharing is a skill she'll develop over several years. Let her work this out with other children. When she doesn't share her friends will let her know in no uncertain terms how unhappy they are and she'll lern that sometimes it takes hard work to be a good friend.
You can always call Parentline Plus if you have any concerns. Their number is0808 800 2222, http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk
I hope this helps.
I think it's partly something that she will grow out of, but can I ask what you do when she persists in crying? If you are comforting her a lot, then she's learning that by crying, she's getting your attention - it's probably an unconcious lesson, but it's there nonetheless.
You could try putting her in her room and telling her (gently) to stay there until she stops crying, and when she does so and comes out, then give her lots of love and attention - that way you are reinforcing the behaviour of not crying.
We've actually started sitting her on the stairs and its starting to work. Its normally over silly things, like the sharing etc so we've tried pointing out to her that she's just being silly.
Wev.
Firstly, your daughter is jolly lucky you care enough to notice. Secondly, to bite the bullet and ask others for their opinion is even better. What that says to me is that, no matter what, it WILL be worked out.
I have a 22yr old, 17yr, old and a 6yr old. The youngest is teh only one living with me and she has gone through all manner of phases including much the same as yours. Like you we were getting pretty worried and, if I'm really honest, it was winding me up terribly as it seemed so foundationless. The simple fact of the matter is that 6mths (ish) later she no longer does it at all and looking back has 'grown up' in a noticable way. What I'm trying to say is, it's just a phase. You do still have to manage it though and doing what you are is, imho, spot on. You are being caring and loving but firm too and setting those vital boundaries.
Try to worry less and look forward to when that phase passes. The only trouble is that it will be promptly replaced by another! Have you had the sullen, raised eyebrows, rolling of eyes bit yet? π
Take care
David
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