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I left presents up in my mums for xmas. I told them i wasnt giving presents to my two kids 21 and 17 who live with my ex. They have recently not given me presents and ignored my texts to meet up. My mum and dad got upset and gave me a hard time saying they were still my kids. I didnt want row or them to be upset at xmas so i agreed to give them money in a card. Now my wife is upset saying i shouldnt give them anything as they havnt bothered with me. Im fed up.seems im dammed if ii do and dammed if i dont.
Ah that age old dilemma... I tend to agree with the parents though, they're your kids and loving them is unconditional, they should respond to your texts and remember your birthdays, but beingthere for them regardless of their failings is part of being a parent.
Your wife is entitled to voice her opinion, it getting upset with you over it isn't really fair.
Yeah i have told my wife shes entitled to her opinion but its my choice. Hard to know what to do. My kids are adults now. They havnt bothered with my birthdays or fathers day or xmas. I told them recently that this wasnt on. They replied saying they have no money. I said even a card at 50p. I do seriously feel like not giving them anything to teach them. They live with my narc ex. Last few months they have ignored my texts to meet up.
When you're young, it's a bit out of sight out of mind sometimes. My kids are in their thirties and I still find after all the help I give them, that they take me for granted at times.
By turning away from them, you will be affirming what your ex probably says about you... be the bigger person and show them that you're in their lives, whatever they throw at you...it doesn't have to be a large amount you put in their card either.
At some point, they are going to stop living with your ex - once they are out of her influence, then that's when you keeping in touch now will hopefully begine to pay off.
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