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I really need some advice if possible 🙁
My son is 9 years old (not far off 10), he has anger issues and has external help in school for this, which seems to be seeing improvements.
The problem I have now is that his behaviour has turned into bullying, the school has not been informing me of the scale of the problem. I have been approached by parents that have told me directly of their children being bullied, the school have told them I am informed of all incidents, so they were rightfully very angry at me at first as they thought that I was just indifferent to the problem. My son is generally considerate, well behaved and sweet. He is doing really well at home now with his behaviour, which is why his actions at school are so out of character.
The latest incident was 2 weeks ago (and I still haven't been told by the school!), where a child 2 years younger and much smaller than my son was taken to him by another child for 'punishment', where my son got him in a headlock and restricted his breathing, saying 'be glad I decided to let you go' after eventually releasing him.
My thoughts/concerns are:
1. Has too much allowance been given for his initial behavior problem, which has allowed him to escalate his bullying.
2. The school is unwilling to acknowledge that they have a problem (other kids have been reported as bullying as well).
3. How much supervision is being given to the kids during playtime (it is a small school of around 80 kids).
4. Should I punish him at home for bad behaviour at school if they apparently do so at the time of the incidents.
5. How much punishment are they allowed to administer at school? I do not see that a written 'student agreement' is sufficient enough for violent behavior!
Any suggestions and help would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you 🙂
So, if I understand this correctly, the school are telling parents that your son has bullied their children, but haven't told you anything? That's appalling and they can siply want to deny there is a problem when they are already telling the other parents. I would insist on a meeting with the head teacher - I'm amazed they haven't insisted on this with you already. If you can work with the school, then there's a much better chance that you might all be able to work something out to improve the situation and that's the ultimate aim. The school should be delighted that you are concerned about it, instead of being a parent who just dismisses it.
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