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My exs looks after our son. I see him as per a court order, every other week. Sometimes this can go months depending if he's too ill to see me (mum makes this call).
Not seeing him enough is another matter however although he is fine with me, the reports i am seeing from care workers and nursery is that he's highly disruptive and developing a complex behavioral issues. Not surprising based on my ex's abilities to even comprehend basic boundaries and discipline. He seems to be at the worse spectrum for everything, diet, fussiness, he sleeps in his mums bed and still has nappies at 3 years. I realise these challenges but i know this issue is exaggerated due to the mum. I know shes been prompted to go on parenting classes. My and my partners child is half the age but is already surpassing my son in many areas, speech, cognition etc.
If i raise with Social Service what will be the likely actions? If my child stays on this path i feel the end result will be two siblings on extremes in terms of social scales. I need intervention now, my son needs me. Okay he's not being abused, he's clean (despite always being ill) but will Social Service make a detailed assessment into this or will they just palm it off as being 'normal'!
Funny enough, I'm going through a messy divorce with my (ex) wife, as she has anger issues, documented by social services, she's been arrested & cautioned and attacking me. We don't talk so were going through mediation regarding children + asset etc. social services are involved in my case, from what I've heard the DV (Domestic Violence) unit are going to make her go anger mgmt counselling.. and me being a man......
Regardless we both work high earners, single home.. I'm actually interested to see what social services recommend, prior to seeing options available to me. Injustice is what have I done wrong in all this, but no one answers
I can't see that it would do any harm to speak to Welfare services anyway to see what they think - may need to push them a little just in case they are busy.
I'm scared, by what this leads too, fed up with the bias towards women. My wife has said I have the children each weekend and her during the week. We have a full time week day nanny (7am to 7pm); I drop the kids to school, each morning & work from home on Mondays and Friday's.. So for a women who works all week, I do wonder why social would favour her to raise the kids?
DAVEYT... Children develop at different rates although their environment does play its part. The fact that the nursery are monitoring his development is encouraging, and the fact that you are being kept informed of his progress. I would certainly share your concerns with his Health Visitor too.
Patelbg - you will have to pay maintenance if your ex is the primary carer, but that is the extent of your liability to the children (depends on how many children) - that maintenance will have to cover nursery costs, so financially, she may be worse off if she has residence of the children. I would get a solicitor (if you haven't already) and see what your chances of going for residence as part of the divorce.
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