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[Solved] Upset after handover

 
(@introverteddad)
Trusted Member Registered

Everytime my son (3 years old)cries during the journey to handover it really upsets me. Today he wouldn’t leave the house as he wanted to watch TV, but I needed to hand him over to his Mum before work. During the tantrum to the handover spot, he mentioned he β€˜didn’t like it there’ ( his Mum’s). I just drove back in tears (not the first time),

Does he genuinely not like it at his Mum’s, even though he β€˜talks about her’ in a positive way or was it just a reaction to not being able to watch TV. Sorry I needed to ask. Just needed to talk.

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Topic starter Posted : 19/10/2020 3:56 pm
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

If a child that young is having a good time where he is, he's going to be upset if that is disrupted, so I would suspect that he simply wanted to continue with you for the time being. Assuming you have no concerns for his welfare with his mother, chances are he's having a good time there as well.

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Posted : 19/10/2020 4:09 pm
(@warwickshire1)
Prominent Member Registered

It is generally very normal for your child to cry when they go home and say they dont want to. All you can do is reassure them and say you will see them soon. It is possible the same happens when mum takes your child to yours. When they are very young they dont understand and like you say your child speaks positive about mum.

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Posted : 19/10/2020 4:09 pm
(@Ferfer)
Reputable Member Registered

I know that feeling all too well. How often do you get to see your son, do you have home overnight? Maybe you can discuss with your ex that you have more time with him. It really is difficult on the children, but it does make handovers much worse when they get upset.

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Posted : 19/10/2020 5:36 pm
(@introverteddad)
Trusted Member Registered

Emotions apart that's what I concluded. Indeed I hope that is the case.

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Topic starter Posted : 19/10/2020 9:21 pm
(@introverteddad)
Trusted Member Registered

Yes I did mention he'll be back with Daddy later in the week, Which fell on deaf ears!

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 19/10/2020 9:23 pm
(@introverteddad)
Trusted Member Registered

If a child that young is having a good time where he is, he's going to be upset if that is disrupted, so I would suspect that he simply wanted to continue with you for the time being. Assuming you have no concerns for his welfare with his mother, chances are he's having a good time there as well.

Emotions apart that's what I concluded. Indeed I hope that is the case.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 19/10/2020 9:24 pm
(@introverteddad)
Trusted Member Registered

It is generally very normal for your child to cry when they go home and say they dont want to. All you can do is reassure them and say you will see them soon. It is possible the same happens when mum takes your child to yours. When they are very young they dont understand and like you say your child speaks positive about mum.

Yes I did mention he'll be back with Daddy later in the week, Which fell on deaf ears!

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 19/10/2020 9:25 pm
(@introverteddad)
Trusted Member Registered

I know that feeling all too well. How often do you get to see your son, do you have home overnight? Maybe you can discuss with your ex that you have more time with him. It really is difficult on the children, but it does make handovers much worse when they get upset.

I have full shared care (with overnights) of my Son and see him every week all being well. I think my emotions had the better of me when wrote my topic. Having said this I can't trust my ex.

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Topic starter Posted : 19/10/2020 9:28 pm
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member

yes it is upsetting because our kids should not have to go through that, especially at such a young age. when my 5 year old was coming over for 1st overnight stay with me, she was in tears and saying she only wanted to stay for one hour. some loser at ex's place put those words into her mouth. I got my revenge lol.

it's quite normal for them to throw tantrums during handover time, if they feel they spent so little time with us. they also throw similar tantrums outside school, that they don't want to go. then minutes later they are back to normal and run into school.

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Posted : 20/10/2020 1:29 am
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

I think my emotions had the better of me when wrote my topic. Having said this I can't trust my ex.

Perfectly understandable, and no problem with posting about it, the forum exists to give people support πŸ™‚

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Posted : 20/10/2020 1:29 pm
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