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Struggling to discipline our 4yo girl!
Using naughty step but she just laughs! Or screams the place down! Whenever I tell her off, she runs to Mom who just cuddles her.
Lost it tonight, and spent ten mins on the step before taking her upstairs and putting her in a cold shower! (Please don’t judge me!) Eventually got her into bed, but gave her a cuddle and a chat once she calmed down! Then gave her some juice and she dozed off.
She is clearly knackered when she’s doing this - but it was to early for bed and she’s being proper rude!
Any advice or tips ...
I'm not sure whether it will work at such a young age, but it might be worth trying a star/reward chart. Basically, at the beginning of the week, you focus on one aspect of her behaviour that you want to improve and agree with her that if she gets, say 5 stars in a week, that she gets a reward at the end of the week (also agreed up front). Then create a chart with one box per day, and if she achieve that goal in the day, then she gets a star for that day (let her stick the star on the chart). If she gets 5 stars, then she gets the reward. You only focus on the aspect you were rewarding for - she can be a pain in the backside in all other respects, but that is irrelevant for getting the star. Equally, you never remove a star once she's got it - you have to stick to the bargain. In reality, she may well fail in the first week - which is fine, because she needs to know that she can't get the reward unless she gets the 5 stars, and you just repeat the exercise until she gets 5 stars in a week. Once she has got that, then you move onto a different aspect of her behaviour, and repeat the process.
This was suggested to me when my son was young, and the pre-school he was at used it, and it transformed his behaviour in a matter of 2 or 3 weeks, though it varies between children.
Hi There,
The reward charts do work, as do the naughty step if used properly.
I would say though that one thing I picked up from your post is that your partner cuddles her when she runs to her, this is giving her mixed messages, your telling her off, her mum is giving her hugs, your partner needs to back you up, when she is playing up, if she runs to your partner, she should turn her away and back to you, or even tell her off and return her to the naughty step.
When using the naughty step you have to following it through, no matter how many times you have to take her back, don't engage in any conversation with her when you are returning her to the step, just pick her up and take her back and walk away, keep doing it the same way and hopefully she will realise that you aren't going to give up and just stay there.
if you engage in any sort of conversation with her when trying to follow up on the naughty step, she will keep going longer as she is getting attention and keeping you with her longer.
GTTS
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