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Right this is my first time of using this site so im hoping you might be able to offer me some advice.
Ive got two children, a girl thats 2 and a half and a boy thats 1. My little girl was always an angel until my boy was born and since then she is slowly turning into a devil child haha!
Anyway her strops are getting more and more frequent and lasting about an hour sometimes. If they are quick 5 minute ones then we know she will have another one soon enough. When she strops she screams at the top of her voice that she wants a cuddle from mummy. If i try and cuddle her she usually hits me or kicks me. She usuallys says she wants a cuddle and then when me or my partner go to cuddle her she runs away crying and then asks for a cuddle again.
We have tried a number of things like the naughty step, cool out time in her room, shouting at her, reasoning with her, trying to calm her down calmly and even a couple of times a smacked [censored]. But nothing seems to work unless she gets a cuddle off her mum.
She doesnt nap in the day as if she does then in the evening she isnt tired and stays awake until late evening. Usually she goes to bed at 6:30 and sleeps through until 6/7 the next day. But she often sneaks into our bed at night without us knowing so we wake up in the morning and she is there.
Im just wondering if anyone has had something similar or have got any advice on what to try. Im finding it really hard now with her and starting to feel like she hates me as all i ever seem to do is tell her off.
My daughter is 5 and has strops and she will go and cry as loud as she can and seemingly for as long as possible. Have you tried the ignoring routine? "If you continue, then we will leave you until you calm down." It is a long term strategy as it means you have to both be able to manage to ignore the crying. She is probably just upset at your attenetion being with the new baby
Yep ignore the strops she will eventually realize she is not getting the attention she is seeking for them. You could also try a sticker chart. If she hits or kicks i would use the naughty step, and getting down to her eye and telling her she must not kick or hit, make her stay there for two mins then again down to her eye level, say why she was on the stop and ask her to say sorry and give you a cuddle. Don't hit or smack her as it basically encourages her to do the same to others. Praise and reward positive behaviour.
I agree with the other posts - it is probably a combination of the terrible twos and also a rival for your attention.
Try to spend some quality time with her on her own - swimming or something - but if she misbehaves then take it off her, that way you can punish poor behaviour by depriving them of something they enjoy!
Rewarding good behaviour is a great tactic too but be careful not to over reward as they will expect to be rewarded just for behaving!
Family matters (who run Dad info) are now involved in TripleP which is definitely worth a look - http://triplep.familymatters.org.uk
Hello.
Consistency is lacking. Buy this book:
1-2-3 Magic (Effective Discipline for Children 2-12) by Thomas W Phelan.
and
feel
behaviour management
become
a doddle.
🙂
Hi there,
Our daughter is just over 2 years old and does pretty much the same thing. She cracks it and then asks for a cuddle and then pushes you away when you try. We have found the best thing to do is to put her somewhere safe, middle of the room, say to her in a calm voice,"mummy and daddy are going into the kitchen/sitting room, when you've stopping crying come and join us". Then we ignore her and act as if nothing is wrong.
If we give her attention it just goes on longer. After she stops she says sorry and she gives us a cuddle. Its so heart wrenching to hear her cry but ignoring it helps to reinforce that if they don't get what they want crying isn't an acceptable form of communication. I think?
Patience is a virtue.
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