[Solved] Spawn of Satan

Draw up a chart and put stars (preferably gold) on it when she does something you want her to do. Small prize for getting so many stars (make it achievable, don't expect 100%). Did this with my son many years ago. He didn't get the prize the first week (and you have to stick to your guns), but he did the second, and every week after that. After a couple of months, he realised that being good was it's own reward.

If there are a number of issues, then concentrate on one at a time - if she's good with that issue, then she gets the star however bad she may be in other respects. Once one aspect is sorted, then you can change it the following week to another aspect of her behaviour. All it costs is a pack of gold stars 🙂

I have no advice on the subject really,but it's interesting me as my little boy has just turned 2 and is pushing boundaries at times. We try the naughty step-but I think he's a bit young at the moment. We just remove him from the situation where he's playing up or take the item off him,tricky time really. 😉 😉

Can't remember when we introduced the naughty step. She wasn't yet three because she was only on it for two minutes to start with but I don't think she was far off three.

The first time, it took 45 minutes to get her to sit on it for 2 minutes. The next time about twenty. She seemed to get it after that although we had a few relapses where it took ages.

Hi to all.
I am Mary. I feel behavior is one of the major elements in human nature. It can make relation and can break too. Human nature changes with the different situation. It depends on one's condition. Keep your nature gentle and soft in all the worst condition. Just be the Human in real manner. Co-operate with each other.
Thanks.

Hi talldad

It's difficult to deal with the kids when they push your boundaries isn't it, but it sounds perfectly normal to me - most kids will push you sometimes and they seem to know exactly when their behaviour will have the most impact (i.e. when visiting the inlaws). Sometimes it helps to try to ignore the behaviour as often it's just attention (positive or negative) that she's is looking for and she doesn't mind how she gets it. If there's no-one to pay attention, then there's not much point in kicking off.

Be realistic about what levels of behaviour you can expect from your child at the age she is and settle for that. Making an effort to pay her attention when her behaviour is good helps, not just reward bad behaviour by making too much of a fuss over it.

Hope this helps.

Don't reward the bad behaviour at all, but don't punish it either as by doing so, you are teaching them that bad behaviour gets your attention (and that may be the prime motive). Reward good behaviour - tell them beforehand what you expect - it's amazing how quickly they will respond, 😀

It's hard to judge sometimes, isn't it? Is she trying to get attention or is she just testing boundaries? I think at the mo it's the latter since she already has mine/our attention at these times, anyway.

She'll have to repeat it twice to get on the naughty step: the first time she gets told it's wrong and the first repeat to get warned that a second repeat will end up on the naughty step. Still, nearly every time we start down that road she ends up on the naughty step. Is this a stubborn streak a mile wide (as you would assume in an adult) or is it simply that a three-year-old brain is quite inflexible in its processing: must it be followed through to the conclusion every time?

Even though she has your attention at the moment, I think it's still attention seeking (I child can never get enough attention) - I'd try the carrot approach (such as the gold star on a chart) for a week, rather than the stick, and see how you go on. Worst that will happen is that you are still in the same position - the best that could happen is that it works and you find a new way of dealing with things. 🙂

S & D (5 & 2)
When our son was between 3 - 4 we did seem to have a lot of those episodes at the dinner table - blowing bubbles into cup, putting hand into cup, which often ended with a spillage. Our Daughter is starting on the same road now :0
Did not use the naughtly step or any other chastisement for such though. We did/do point out if we think there is going to be a spillage and leave it at that.
When the water spills, or other food/drink item spills, we just ask them to pick up the cup, put a towel down and put another cup on the table.
They get no other reaction from us other than that, unless they are willfully throwing the water/food.
Yes it can be very trying for you, but funnily enough as you are not concentrating on the spillage about to happen you are a lot more relaxed about it. As they get bigger they coordinate a lot better.

Now my son is 5.5 yrs and we hardly have any such issues, cannot remember when last we had a accidental spill - can remember the tantrum spill though 🙂
Our daughter is now going through the same as he went through. Last week, I think I would be right in saying that nearly every day my wife had water on her while at the dinner table.
Had her fuming some days but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
The other thing you could try though, is if it is being done wilfully, state that if it is done again you will not buy any of, whatever it is, for a week / 2 weeks - it does have a way of focussing their minds better than the naughty step.

well at least there is an improvement...right? 😉