[Solved] Screaming for mummy

Hi Davethebutcher

We have posts about this regularly so you're not alone!

At two and a half she's still a baby and you're partly right that there may be an element of the terrible twos in the mix. She will also be picking up on your distress too, which won't be helping...it's difficult to remain calm and unruffled when you have a screaming child in front of you.

She will grow out of it but in the mean time using distraction tactics and remaining calm is the best way of dealing with this.

Try to think if there's a trigger involved here and try and circumvent it but most importantly don't allow yourself to think it's your fault! I'm sure she has tantrums for her mum too!

Best of luck

Defo a phase mate, I had it for around 6 months after contact was restarted with my Daughter who was 1 1/2 - 2 years old, it is distressing and you do end up freaking out a little which makes the situation worse, MOJO has given some excellent advice and I would echo the comments, I tried everything I could and distraction was the best bet when I picked her up I'd make sure I'd have her favourite toy to hand and give her that then start talking about what we were going to do in a way I completely ignored her and carried on as normal as if she wasn't kicking off at all.

My daughter rarely even mentions her mum now but she does still have general tantrums so I do the same as when she was kicking off for mummy I done a parenting course as ordered by the court and they said the same remain calm don't show that you are frustrated and distract as much as possible it will get better it just takes a little time.

All the best

Slim 🙂

Hi There,
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Your not on your own with this and it's very common.
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As said above distraction will help, it's probably a phase, as hard as it is you need to keep calm with her as the more worked up you get the worse it will be, try taking her to a different room, maybe looking out the window, ask her to look for birds or something, it will take time but she will grow out of it.
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GTTS

I have had the same issues on pick up over the weekend. - It does make you feel awful - I feel your pain!

My little girl went nuts for her mummy and it took around 20 mins to get her in the car.
It didn't help her mum mollycoddling her but after we left in the car she stopped the tantrum and was busy playing with her doll in the backseat. I am hoping this will be just a small phase she is going through!

Hi,

I was in the exact same situation myself with my daughter being the same age as yours, the last two times i saw her at the contact centre all she wanted was mummy, mummy, mummy all the time and i felt so anxious and awkward and i had no clue how to make her feel better. the first time round my daughter came down with an infection a few days later so i put it down to her starting to feel ill, but the second time she just didnt wanna know me, and she sat on 3 others dads knees and wouldnt go near me, thats when i last saw her dec 19th last yr, its been killing me ever since. Ill stay hopeful though as you should as it will only get better with more contact and they get older and wiser.

Hi Dave,

Don't worry. This is perfectly normal. I have been through it too. As the partner who goes to work every day it's inevitable! The simple answer is power through and ensure you're making the best of the time that does not involve a tantrum : P

It seems redundant to echo the other responses, though they told no lies. However, I'd like to give you the counterpoint.

As a working father, I have been through and sometimes still go through the exact same thing but I'm also a foreign national. I'm Irish and when we are in Ireland visiting my friends and family, my daughter often switches her preferred carer. Suddenly, when I step out of the car she's like "Daddy nooooo!!!!" and when she stubbs her toe, it's me she runs to. I have to say I'm OK with the latter case, but listening to your child cry because you have to walk away is not fun.

I am dealing with a lesser version of this now because we have a new-born in the house and when mum is incapacitated, dealing with our youngest, I have to deal with every tantrum. And when she screams for mammy, I just have to repeatedly explain that mammy is busy helping the baby, I'm helping you now. I can't confess that it always works, but I feel it helps. Basically, what I'm saying is don't underestimate your child’s ability to understand reason, even if they can't control their emotions!