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My eldest is playing up again!
He was so settled at my mums.
Started the new school on trial and needs an attendance of 96% in order to stay.
Settled really well and made loads of new friends.
I pick him up every morning and he walks from mine with his friends then he comes back here after and either stays for tea for a bit or gets run back to my mums. Last week he did a full week (had time off last few weeks for dentist and orthadontist, bit of a wobble one Friday) and was proud of himself.
This last week he's been an utter sod! Even my dad whose quite placid but won't take no [censored] has had enough.
He's been stealing, refusing to go to school, not going home for tea, going out when he been told to stay in, law unto himself my dad says.
Turns out he's been going up to dads all week, choosing a motorbike for Xmas! He's been coming in at half 10 most nights!
So this is the situation;
He can't live with dad cause dad needs assessing by social services because he's not seen as responsible enough and there are concerns.
He won't come to me because he hates my partner. I've got emails from dad to him telling him to ignore everything my partner says and he will "smash his face in" if he tells him off, so you can imagine what he's like with my partner anyway! He's aggressive towards his brother and generally abusive.
We do spend time together although it's not as much as if like.
He has asked me if he can come live with me if my partner wasn't here, in other words, will I leave my partner. So he's making me chose. He's begged me and promised he would knuckle down, said he'd feel happy with me and he'd settle.
Partner has tried so hard with him but we just get nothing back, last week he kicked our fence in, other week kicked the kitchen door in, then he's carved "dic@head" in my partners van door!
I'm just at my wits end.
My kids always come first, before anyone or anything, but and it's with a heavy heart I say this, is he just manipulating me? I know, hands down, if i go it alone, I will not cope if his behaviour doesn't improve.
Social sevices are a complete waste of time, they promised us all sort of family help, councelling etc an nothing has come of it.
Is there anyway I can get a fast track from CAMHs? He's been referred before but they refused to see him until us as parents put our differences aside, that's never gonna happen is it, I've tried, he's refused.
I'm [censored] stuck, so much going on.
Anyone have the parenting manual they can lend me please?
They keep re-writing the manual - usually after every birth 😡
He hasn't gone to school again 🙁
I waved him off happy as larry, took te younger two, called back home for my phone charger and there he was, hiding under the bed!
Argument ensued, he left, I locked up and before I knew it, dad was on the phone on his way to pick him up! He hasn't taken him to school because "he didn't want to go!!
There is only so much you can actually do. It's worth speaking to the school and seeing if you can work out a plan with them - as well as possibly coming up with a solution (and the school could speak directly to his father), it also proves that you are doing your best, which might be useful if social services were to get involved again in his lack of education.
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