Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I need to ask your opinion on something…..what you would do?
Here’s the scenario:
You take a child (of any age over say 5yrs) to see a Children’s film…..let’s say for instance “Paddington” or “Dream Works Dragons 2”
During the first 15-20mins of the film a rather sinister character is being played or a scary cartoon figure is on the screen……your child starts to tell you they want to leave as its scary.
What would you do?
A. Talk to them and explain that its not real and only a film and its not actually scary and that funny things are going to happen in a minute to the “baddy / scary” person / cartoon dragon!......encourage them to see that the scary bits aren’t actually that scary and that the “baddy” is going to lose against the “good guys” and that its going to be very funny.
Or
B. Get up and walk out the cinema / pantomime / show etc… whatever or wherever it is.
What would you as parents or non-parents do in this scenario?
Personally, I'd try to explain it's not real etc etc and see if they can be brave for a few minutes (set a limit) and if after that they still want to leave, then you go, and afterwards you talk it through with them. Bottom line, your children have got to know you are on their side.
I think it depends on the level of distress, but if they were just saying they wanted to leave because its scary I would lift the seat arm up and put my arm around them and tell them that only little bits were scary and if they really couldn't watch then close their eyes for the scary bits....lots of reassurance...but if they don't settle then I guess it's best to leave.
hi,
I think I tend to agree, it would depend on how effected the child was but in general, reassure them cuddle them in and if they didn't settle then leave and talk about the film, maybe then later when it's out on DVD get it to watch at home so they could see there wasn't anything to be scared of.
Why do you ask?
GTTS
I ask because of the “[censored]” I got off the ex after dropping our son back at hers.
Basically I tried to reassure him that the film wasn’t anything to be scared of and that the baddy was getting in to trouble that was funny and not scary…..he did say once more he wanted to just leave but again I reassured him and he settled down and started laughing within a min or two as…as I had said the baddy got her “comeuppance” in a various funny ways……..
We left the film at the end and chatted about all the funny bits…he seemed ok with it and even said that it wasn’t scary at all…..
So basically I thought all was OK…..obviously the ex and her mother interrogate him when he got home and then pick up only on the bit where he first said he wanted to leave the cinema…..no mention that I’d reassured him and all was ok…..or that he found it funny and had said that to me……no! I just get a barrage of [censored] saying he’ll not be sleeping over now this weekend as I’ve upset him by not allowing him to come away from the film when he said 1st time!
I tried to explain the above…that I reassured him both the 2 times he was scared by the baddy on the screen……..but she just ripped in to me saying I should’ve not tried to and just walked out!
I just did what I thought you were supposed to do and reassure a child that there’s nothing to be scared of as its just a film……..and to be fair the Spiderman film that she allowed him to watch last year when he was only 6 was way more violent and not for a child of his age! But that’s OK cos “she” was there and allowed it!
Just very frustrated at her constant undermining of my role as his dad.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.