[Solved] Naughty 4 yo boy at nursery

Hi There,
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I think that the school have it when he is playing up, it time out, I always used the naughty step, 1 a year to match thier age, so 4 mins at the moment, but when and if you do it, you and your wife have to be doing things the same way, so you tell him why he is going on the step, and that he will sit there for 4 full mins and that if he moves then it starts from the begining until he has done a full 4 mins, you could even say that the 4 mins won't start if he is shouting.
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When he is put on the step, there should be no talking to him, if he moves pick him up and put him back, don't say anything to him, put him back and walk away, and keep doing it until he stays there.
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You would be surprised that it won't take long before he starts to take notice.
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GTTS

Hi there

I don't know if I approve of a time out room, these people are supposed to be trained in child care and I would question their approach, have you checked them out on OFSTED?

Some children are naturally a handful and as you say, this often indicates intelligence, they need to stretch him mentally, not punish him. If your wife can find things that keep him occupied, then perhaps she should question what they are doing to stimulate him and make some suggestions. If his behaviour is inconvenient or doesn't fit in with their routine, they should show some flexibity and think outside the box, all children are different and their individuality should be encouraged, although I fear that may not be the case sometimes.

My daughter had a similar situation with a nursery my grandson went to, but at the next one they thought he was an angel... He may be picking up on their annoyance with him and misbehaving because of that, or it might be more to do with a personality clash with the Nursery assistant!

If you are having difficulty with discipline at home, removing him gently but firmly as you have been doing is a good tactic, the naughty step for a short time is another. A reward chart is also something that works, basically every time he is good he can stick a star on his chart and after so many stars he can have a treat.

But there is a difference between being a pest and being naughty and he shouldnt be punished because he needs a lot of attention...it's just the way he is.

Best of luck

Hi there, and welcome.

First of all, congratulations on the children, they are the best. I don't have direct experience with what you are describing ( my boy is under 2 ), but I'll leave some thoughts in case it helps.

I have to admit I couldn't find anything wrong with what you described. It just sounds like your son has more energy than all the adults who care for him, and that can be draining on them. From your description he is not doing anything malicious, it sounds like he's just being himself and being told off for being who he is ?

That doesn't mean that you just let him do everything he wants, but being told he has a problem may not help him at all. I wouldn't do that to my son. You and your wife also seemed to have identified what he needs, which is lots of attention and activities to keep him busy. That sounds really good, that's how he will develop to his full potential, and it sounds like he does have a lot of potential! The more he moves, the more he plays and experiments things, the more his brain will develop, and it won't be fully developed until he is 6 or 7.

If you try to think about it from his perspective, what would it feel like if you were full of energy and wanted to play, explore, discover, and everyone kept telling you there is something wrong with you and you need to sit in the corner ? Again, I'm not a specialist, but if this was my son, I would be thinking about moving him out of that nursery. I would want to encourage him to be who he is, develop, play, grow, not be told there's something wrong with him.

I would also look for adults who were similar to him as children, and ask for their advise, and I would also post the same question on quora because you tend to get some really good people answering questions there, see https://www.quora.com/topic/Sons .

Regardless if you find an answer or not, make sure to come back and let us know how it went.

I agree with the reward chart - it worked a long time ago with my son. You pick one aspect of his behaviour to concentrate on for that week, and if he behaves in that aspect, each day he gets a star. If he does something else naughty, but does do the thing he is being marked against, then it doesn't matter, he gets the star. At the end of the week if he has enough stars (you agree the total at the start, I would suggest 4 stars out of 5 days), then he gets the pre-arranged reward. If he doesn't get enough, then you start again the next week on the same aspect of behaviour. Once he has the reward, then you move onto the next behavioural problem. Took about 3 weeks to sort my son out - it really worked that fast!!