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Me and my ex are no longer together and havent been for around 18 months. I see my son (two yrs old) twice a week and up to 3 weeks ago that has been going fine, until he stared not wanting to come to me, get in my car or even let me hold him, he crys his eyes out if i pick him up and goes mental (kicking out ect) so i have had to leave him with his mum for the last three weeks as this has happened every time. I really dont know what has changed to make him act like that, nothing has happened whilst he has been with me. Is it terrible 2's or just a phase?? any help would be appreciated.
In your shoes I would pick up my child, strap him into the car and drive. After 5 mins the cries and tantrums would have have died down, if you have something in the car to distract him that would help (dvd player, toys?).
It is always going to be hard for a child to step out of their comfort zone. So long as your son knows that he can refuse to go by crying you are just reinforcing that behavior and making it harder for yourself next time.
My partner's little one went through this phase at the same age. At the time him and his ex were relatively amicable and they agreed that he would go off with the child and if they hadn't calmed down after 5-10 minutes of Daddy comforting them, that he would then go back to the Mum. Maybe you could consider discussing this as an option with your ex or starting the visit with both of you present and then go off for a bit together?
I agree with dark knight to the extent that if you respond to his crying in this manner now, your son will learn this pretty quickly.
It's horrid to see the children so upset during these times but if you can work together with his Mum, you will all reap benefits further down the line.
How well do you get on with the mother? I think it's important that she encourages your son and as 1626 says the best way to do that is to work together as a team. Perhaps you could try and meet in a park or some other place where he is distracted and then she could leave whilst you and he were playing.
If your relationship with his mother is strained then he could be picking up on that.
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