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Hi my name is Gordon and I am new to this site.
I was divorced over two years ago, my ex-wife and I both have new partners.
My problem is that my oldest son who is 14 1/2 has taken up karate, in all the years I have never found anything that has connected with him until now. He thrives on Karate and loves it.
On Sunday he was graded and received his orange belt, I was there and over the moon with his achievement. However the coaches have said that the honeymoon period is over now and that he must go to training twice a week. Great idea he chose Monday night.
When he went back to his mother she poured cold water on the idea and now he is too afraid to say anything to her. It is probably going to be down to me to say something which will mean that there will be a huge arguement because that is what always happens.
What should I do as I am fed up with giving praise to my children and encouraging them to have all the positivity knocked out of them by their mother?
Hi,
Have you talked to your son about it & found out what happened? If you haven't already you could ask him if he really does want to train twice a week. If he does, you could suggest he speaks to his Mum about it & offer to be there when he does to support him. Then that helps him speak up for himself & keeps you in a role that's supporting what he wants to do, rather than speaking up for him. What do you think?
Yes it is difficult but I think you do need to speak to your ex - if you are able to then offer to take him so there is no impact on her life.
Also your son may be thinking about Duke of Edinburgh awards at school and doing something like Karate is great for their skills - this will also improve his confidence and may help with University applications as it will give him something to talk about in interviews.
Having a hobby is really important at this age - it sure beats them playing on the PC or Xbox 24/7!!
Good luck with it
Hi Daddyto4 i spoke to my ex-wife yesterday and she put the phone down on me. I had offered to help with the transporting of my son from the extra session. I then find out today from him that they spoke that night and she was going to consider it. This is a start but I still need him to speak up for himself.
Glad they were able to talk about it & she's considering it. Lets hope she softens & lets him do the stuff he wants to do.
The coach obviously thinks your son is doing well, would it be worth suggesting that your ex speak to the coach directly so that he can tell her how well your son is doing?
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