[Solved] Im a bad Dad

oh dear Simon, please don't do anything. I know you are at a point where you need support, I am so glad you are getting some help 🙂
Have you told all your family about what is going on? They are not helping you and putting you under too much pressure and need t wade in and help you out 🙂

NJ is quite right, could you go and stay with family for a while? And your wife is being extremely manipulative which should be telling SS some things too!

You must be very honest with the doctors and the hospital about how you are feeling. You can and will get through this. Your children need you 🙂

Hi Simon Ive just read all the posts. My heart goes out to you . im not surprised you feel this way you have gone through so much it would send anyone over the edge.
My brother was in a very dark place a few years ago, he also rang me one night at 3am and he was heading for a brick wall , he was driving a massive truck. I made him pull over and we talked for 3 hours. His wife had left with the 3 young children he lost every thing , he had just ripped the kitchen out because she wanted a new one, he was left with a empty house with one bed and a shell of a kitchen he had debts and a mortgage he couldn't pay, she then refused him any contact as he wasn't stable. Basically he saw the only way to stop the pain was to end it. Now a few years down the line he is happy , he has a new partner and sees his children, there is hope Simon and it really helps to talk . you need to talk to someone Im suggesting you talk to the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90 they will listen they wont judge you they are there 24 hours a day 7 days a week , go on there website www.samaritans.org please Simon phone them email what ever you like but when you get through this there is happiness again

Simon,

I feel somewhat of an affinity with your situation, although slightly different, as my partner has had 2 strokes and there have been behavioural and emotional changes as well as the physical.

I too was sidelined during home meetings with SS and other agencies which were brought in to help. It seems that as the stroke victim she got all the support and I as the carer was left without support.

In the end I came down with depression and have had CBT which was very useful. I have completed CBT and will attend a peer support group from now on to essencialy top it up.

I know Im sick of hearing "stay strong" etc but you have to for your children. Really you need to build your strength. I also need to take some of my own advice at times.

You will be feeling helpless and it will seem that no one understands, lets face it not many "young" people have had multiple strokes.

You are not alone Simon.

Im not sure what to say now as I dont have medical or councelling training but if you want to you can PM or we can communicate via this forum.

Be gentle to yourself....fortitude, resourcefulness and perseverance.

Regards,

Dave

Hi Simon.

I can't really add much to what has already been said, except to say that you are not alone and if you need to talk we are here.

How are you doing today?

Gooner.

Hi Simon 🙂

I just though I'd check in with you and ask how you're doing... its been a few days since you last posted, I hope you're bearing up 🙂

Hi Simon,

How are things going? We haven't heard from you in a couple of weeks.

Gooner

Good grief, what a roller coaster of emotions!

I felt messed up just reading about it!

I had and am still recovering from a bout of depression that led me to assaulting my step son. Thankfully for me things are working out, but not without the help of some anti depressants and a good psychotherapist!

It sounds like you have gained 2 wonderful daughters and nearly lost your precious wife. It does sound to me like you are suffering depression. Mental illnessess are sometimes worse because as we cannot see the symptoms it makes it harder for us to understand them.

One thing I have learned recently is that we all have limits, and strong emotions, and its ok to have these feelings, but its how we manage them thats important.

I lost my temper, and nearly lost everything, so try to remember what makes you a good man, and concentrate on that.

This forum was a good help to me too in dark times. The words of support from others helped me to feel less alone.

And on the point of social services. They had to be involved with my case, to protect all my children. I too was worried that they'd just want to split us up, but thats not the case at all. Social services do have a mandate to protect children, but they will do EVERYTHING they can to keep families TOGETHER.

Dont give up, your daughters need you, your wife needs you. You CAN make a difference, a positive one, to their lives, and to your own as well.

From another Dad who's often thought he was a failure too.

Put away the stick you beat yourself up with and stick on medal big man. After all you've been through, you're amazing .

hi there i have been with my new partner for 8 months and still fighting in court its been horible and i must admit that its been hard on my stepkids and partner espcially my 17 yr old step daughter weve helped each other so much and yet ive verbally abused her and had her in tears .tbf ive been a nightmare. relaitionships are still strained but slowly i am rebuilding my relationship with them .and jst to add me my three girls and my partner and and her 4 have met sevral times and weve all got on like weve been a family for years ! add on that i constantly feel ive let my girls down and that my moved in my ex friend just after we split and he constantly enjoys telling me he sees them more than me and there a happy family anywhoo my point is i constantly beat myself up and think im a bad dad/step dad to the point of givng in but always drag myself back up as my step kids love me and i play an active role in there life (along with there dad who is also a good dad) and my 3 three girls love me this = good dad/stepdad hope everything gets sorted and never beat yaself up we dads are the forgotten parents and we all need to stay strong