[Solved] I seem to be losing my temper too regularly.

Hi ,

I would have a talk to him when you are calm sit him down and explain the reason why you get angry and that probably you can help each other to stop it happening so often, don't pretend it won't happen ever again as that is more than lickily to not be the case.

I know mornings aren't everyones strong point my wife hates getting up and isn't the best person to be around first thing, explain this to him and how when he isn't doing as he should then it makes mornings harder.

if the mornings are the biggest issue which it sounds like they may be I would imagine he has a little routine he has to get through every day like , Get up, Get dressed, Eat breakfast and brush teeth. Maybe do a little chart for him to fill out as he is doing these things so he can tick them off, work out what time he has to have each one done by and teach him the times on the clock at the same time. make it a game with a small reward for getting it all done on time for a week.

Darren

Hi there and welcome 🙂

Children can be so frustrating and 6 yr olds will push boundries to see how far they can go!

Having said that, it isnt good to send them off to school with your shouts and anger ringing in their ears. I think the fact that you are acknowledging what is happening and are talking about it, is a very good indication that you are going to work it out. There are a couple of things you could do.

If this happens in the mornings and your stress levels are rising in case of lateness, then perhaps you should get up a little earlier which will give you more time to get them ready, and will allow for such "hiccups". The second thing is to take some time out when you feel that you are losing your temper, remove yourself from the situation, go into another room and compose yourself before returning. If you dont already, you could try cleaning your teeth together, this may motivate him to copy you and brush for longer.

If your problems arise in the mornings around getting ready for school, you might think about introducing a "getting ready" chart. This you would make together, and it would have seven columns for each day of the week....if hes a good boy he would get to stick a star in the column for that day...and at the end of the week if he has all seven stars he would get a treat. My Grandson just wont eat his packed lunch so we have introduced one for this, hes given a choice of what goes in to his lunchbox and if he has eaten it he get a star and at the end of the week he can choose a treat. It seems to be working!

Children will play up at times, no matter how hard we try to have things run smoothly and a little bit of naughtiness from time to time is normal, but by losing your temper and throwing things you are teaching him to do the same! children learn by example as you know!

Hi there and welcome 🙂

Children can be so frustrating and 6 yr olds will push boundries to see how far they can go!

Having said that, it isnt good to send them off to school with your shouts and anger ringing in their ears. I think the fact that you are acknowledging what is happening and are talking about it, is a very good indication that you are going to work it out. There are a couple of things you could do.

If this happens in the mornings and your stress levels are rising in case of lateness, then perhaps you should get up a little earlier which will give you more time to get them ready, and will allow for such "hiccups". The second thing is to take some time out when you feel that you are losing your temper, remove yourself from the situation, go into another room and compose yourself before returning. If you dont already, you could try cleaning your teeth together, this may motivate him to copy you and brush for longer.

If your problems arise in the mornings around getting ready for school, you might think about introducing a "getting ready" chart. This you would make together, and it would have seven columns for each day of the week....if hes a good boy he would get to stick a star in the column for that day...and at the end of the week if he has all seven stars he would get a treat. My Grandson just wont eat his packed lunch so we have introduced one for this, hes given a choice of what goes in to his lunchbox and if he has eaten it he get a star and at the end of the week he can choose a treat. It seems to be working!

Children will play up at times, no matter how hard we try to have things run smoothly and a little bit of naughtiness from time to time is normal, but by losing your temper and throwing things you are teaching him to do the same! children learn by example as you know!

Our post's over lapped, seems we have similar ideas 😉

...great minds think alike eh Darren! 🙂

I will echo what Darren and NJ have said - The fact that you have recognised the issue and are willing to change is brilliant. Don't beat yourself up, we have all lost our temper at one time or another (often).

Getting up earlier so that you are not in such a rush and the morning routine chart are brilliant ideas. You could vary the treats as well so it could be something as simple as we'll go to the local park on Saturday afternoon or something similar. Rewarding good behaviour with a little treat is a really positive way to sort the issue out. Just make sure you explain the rules and maybe get the kids to help make the charts.

Gooner

now i have a little question don't take this the wrong way.

is there something on your mind other than your 6yrs old behaviour
the reason is i went through a stage just like you shouting and snarling at the kids when the real reason was the fear of losing my job and pressure from other people

so although i did not want to snap and snarl at my kids it was just the niggling little things they did that i felt i just did not need at that time

if it is just the 6yrs old behaviour does he have an intrest in something you could use as a weekly reward

Hi all I am new here so hopefully I have done the post ok.
Mark I am at the same stage as u I am always losing my temper with my kids. I love them dearly and would not hurt them. But they do push me. I can tidy up but they don't think they need to put there stuff away. It has taken me a long time to admit I have a temper problem and could do with some help. If there is any dads or places that can offer my help then that would be great.
James

It's worth looking locally for anger management counselling.

Anger management counselling? ....take it easy not that stage yet
There has been various opinions already mentioned here which could have indicated the possible root cause analysis for this recent emotion, It could be one or a combination of these several factors
There is no written or quick formula and you may have to modify/adapt each suggestion to suit you and your children
You have taken the first step by acknowledging your shortcomings
The responsibility lies on us as parents and don't worry you will get there eventually
It will be nice to feedback to those who have offered various suggestions
Not necessarily to counsel but perhaps to put things into perspective

By the way do you mind my asking what is your partner's view on this recent development ?

I don't think it needs to get to any particular stage before anger management can be used, let's face it, it is counselling with a focus on anger, but it's looking at the causes, so if it's sought early, it can be useful to find strategies to resolve any issues.

On second thought, there is a good point to be noted on the question of anger management
After going through your original issue again what struck me is the question of the proportion of your reaction to your children behavior
I will still say you need to take all the advice raised here on board

Good luck hope this is resolved sooner rather than later
koka