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Hey All,
Great new for the court case ect.... However,
My ex has now managed to make it that I feel physically ill towards the day that I have contact.
She is constantly confrontational at handover. Not violent (yet) but very very verbal.
E.G
Today is friday, my nerves I can feel are getting more and more aggy during the day and by evening I have such an upset stomach that I'm constantly on the loo...
Just before the hearing, two weeks ago, I went back on Beta Blockers and have been on anti- depressants for some time now.
Although I feel they help, I'm curious as to know how any of you cope with the lead up to having to face a confrontational situation on a regular basis.
I've tried being nice, or being quiet and indeed snapping back at her. Nothing works with her, So, i need to adjust how I feel as I do not want to be a wreck every time I go to get my boy.
[censored]? You're making mountains out of mole hill's now mate, just man up go and meet her, you're just posting for the sake of posting now, you're getting to see your Child just concentrate on that and be grateful.
That's rather harsh Slim. I won against my ex in every respect (I got residence, and restricted contact because she wasn't turning up when arranged) but all it took was for her to phone me and my wife knew immediately who I was on the phone to as she said the colour just drained from my face. I'm not sure if I'd have got through the whole situation if it wasn't for my wife, in fact.
Don't forget that Life's ex and her family have been abusive to him in all respect, and even outside the court, and he can't retaliate as that's just what she would be hoping for, and Life doesn't know who is going to be there, so I can perfectly understand his apprehension.
Life, it's a difficult situation to deal with, and I would strongly suggest that you take someone else along with you, both for moral support and as a witness. If she starts to kick off, ask her (or tell her) that you'll discuss it with her at a time when your son isn't present and walk away with your son.
ACTD,
I was just saying on another thread that she didn't even turn up today.... She did warn me this morning that I was to go to her home which is agains the court order. Sadly, so is taking someone as STUPIDLY I asked the court to say we meat with no one else present.
Thinking that this would help defame any situation that may occur.
I'm wrong....!
Ah, yes - sorry. I'd forgotten that.
Hi Mate,
Keep your chin up am going through something similar to you at the moment though have not yet been to court 14th of october is my day in court. My ex is a nutter too (Arnt they all??)
You mentioned that your not allowed to take anyone along to collect your boy. If you drive then take someone for moral support and leave them in the car when you collect him, this way your not braking the court order as it will only be you there when you collect him.
I got to the point where i was dreading going to pick my boy up too, due to what the ex may or may not say. The best way i have found to deal with it is just be calm and polite (harder than it sounds) if she is being verbally abussive and there is no sign of your son the best thing to do is just walk away. Keep a journal of this happening too. Its heart braking walking away from somewhere you know your son is I know. But you may find that you need to go back to court to get the access agreement re-done. So that someone may be present.
Just remember in the eys of women where all wrong!! π
For me when i get my boy the smile on his face is what keeps me going. Just enjoy your time with your boy and if you feel the need to vent (Have a rant of your own when he's not there) Look at the long road too, in my opion one of 2 things will happen. She will calm down and get her self a new fella or your son will see how mummy behavies toward Daddy and think mummy is like this i want to go live with daddy.
Just keep your chin up mate things will get better. Be possitive and enjoy your time with your son he is all that matters.
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