[Solved] "Financial Benifit" to mothers - reducing access!

I agree regrettably its about leverage and ultimately if you are self employed using gorilla tactics to pay yourself he minimum wage and therefore reduce unreasonable payments to your ex, or even make yourself redundant to have more time to spend with your kids, this isn't a great situation at all and I ask when and who will bring about reform.

Keep strong dads, this sort of communication shows me I am not alone.

I can only talk from personal experience of what I consider "Unreasonable" and "Inconsiderate" restrictions being placed on me and our child by my ex - to only “be allowed“to have our child 1DPW and not allowing overnight access, controlling venue, time and date of any time spent together, clearly this is not in the best interest of the child or conducive to developing cooperation relations or in my opinion a sign of acting in a balanced manner. Having tried private discussions, mediation twice where the mediator suggested we take legal advice and also a legal round the table meeting still with no change - I regrettably had no option but to take court action, Once you get into the process then “the gloves were off“ regrettably this then requires CAFCASS reports to check parents background, criminal records etc. and also conduct home visits to see if you are both capable of looking after your child (which we have all passed but protocol is needed to be followed) as a judge normally won't take the step give overnight without a recommendation from a social worker, be it privately paid or funded by the government. Following the "system" takes at least 16 weeks so in the interim you and your child keep suffering from lack of access and unreasonable behaviour manifesting itself through "control". The legal system is built up of precedent and protocol and works at a snail’s pace, most are really glorified civil servants and well that speaks for itself, I’ve had court orders issued which are poorly drafted and had to be re drafted and issued (after pointing this out to the court) plus what's ironic is none of the judges are consistent in their approaches and decisions. It costs you time and money to get some form of resolution, my initial estimate was 15k now I'm at 30k+ and 5 months later, I think it will be resolved within 2 months but what options do you have as a dedicated father but to fight for your child’s rights to see their parents, one day your access and influence will reveal itself and as a result they will make their own mind up on things, Its a very rocky road but has to be worth it. Good dads who follow the system and are dedicated im my opinion get a rough ride when their partners are unreasonable, it may be very different if there were penalties, indeed if the parent doesn’t allow overnight access then if she were penalised for this through the CSA I’m sure it would be a different story. It always the lowest common denominator that they work to which is unfair, finally what is or can be done about this - that’s the real question, no point us moaning on - on forums we need action to help other fathers who will no doubt have to go through the same as we suffer.

no there are no debts regrettably to offset