[Solved] Effects of an ex with personality disorders

Hey, my ex and her partner also have a personality disorder - borderline personality disorder (at least they claim to). I can empathise with how impossible these people are to deal with. I'm glad to hear you at least have custody. It's not that way in my case, and as you can imagine it's horrible knowing my daughter is the care of two people are complete monsters (let's be honest). They are forever messing with my daughter's head, and I'm left to give my daughter the facts (in a child appropriate way, of course).

I've just filed for court for the second time with her. And as you know, they can't be mediated. How long have you been out of that relationship. I would defintely advise a child arrangements order, and if you wanted to raise your concern for the welfare of your children in her care, there's another form for that too (although it's name escapes me right now). From my experience, a court order is an absolute must. Keep a rigorous diary, save all your emails and texts from her (I was foolish and didn't save her texts) and collect all the evidence you can - if her social media profile is public, then screenshot and print out any inappropriate posts and photos.

I would be interested to know what kind of personality disorder your ex has. If you want to PM me, maybe we can swap notes and we might be able to offer each other some tips, if not at least some support. Stay strong, your kids appreciate that they have a great dad.

Hi

Thanks for your message and yes she has blocked her .. again. The issue is when Mum appears better she convinces my daughter that everything is fine!

Hi
Thanks for the advice. The bizarre element in all this is that she asked me to attend mediation last year even though no-one was actually preventing her from seeing the children ! We agreed some things which were all changed the moment we left. She then applied for the certificate but nothing went any further. This time she has contacted me via a very unusual route ( an old client of mine and hers) to say she is getting the certificate and the court will be in touch? She is ignoring my daughters texts completely and I've said to the go -between when would she like to see them but no answer. This happened last year when she was having an "episode". The big problem here is the unpredictability with her many mental health issues. If there is an arrangement she won't be able to stick to it ..

A child’s love is unconditional, it’s easy to understand why your daughter gives her chance after chance.

I’m not really sure what you mean by a certificate, do you mean things that have been agreed between you, that have been put before the court to be written into a consent order?

I wouldn’t leave it to her, I would want to be the applicant in any court case over contact, especially as you have the children with you.

If you don’t think mediation will work, you can speak to the mediator that you used before and explain that all previous agreements from the last time were reneged on and her erratic behaviour and haphazard contact isn’t conducive to further mediation, hopefully they will agree to sign off the form to allow you to make the application.

You would be asking for the order to state that the children live with you, this allows you to make the day to day decisions about your children and gives you more control.

Best of luck