[Solved] Desparate for help avoiding arguing with 4 yo son.

I phoned up triple P and it's £140 for the online version. I thought I'd seen it somewhere on this forum for about £70.

I'm sure it's very good but £140 for a few videos seems ridiculous. Anyone know of any alternative (more interactive!) similar programmes?

It's available here at 129.99 or free If you live in the High Peak area of Derbyshire.

You can also choose to be sent the Triple P Workbook and DVD instead of doing the on-line course.

Your local children's centre will normally have details of local parenting courses running in your area.

Gooner

When my son has a tantrum, and starts to chuck his toys around i say to him 'I take it you want to break this toy, I'll just put it in the bin now then shall I if you just want to break it' as for getting up or going to bed times try a star chart they always seem to work. If you be good in the morning you get 2 stars... once you have 10 stars you'll get a special ice cream / or new toy. But if they dont behave cross a star off so they know it will take longer to get the toy/ice cream or whatever.

Four year old are a nightmare - they have bags of energy and they are not being worn out by full time education yet. They will also try to push every boundary that is possible.

There have been some great answers on here and in my opinion you need to get him into a routine that distracts him enough to wear him out but not enough to make him want to fight you when it comes to bedtime.

He will fight you if he goes to bed earlier than his sister and he will want and expect to do the things she is allowed to do.

Find a routine that suits both of you and then try to keep calm if he resists - you cannot give in (easier said than done) and if he is naughty then you need to stick to whatever threat you make - removal of rewards etc.

It will get better as school will wear him out but it sounds like he needs it now

Good luck

When my son has a tantrum, and starts to chuck his toys around i say to him 'I take it you want to break this toy, I'll just put it in the bin now then shall I if you just want to break it' as for getting up or going to bed times try a star chart they always seem to work. If you be good in the morning you get 2 stars... once you have 10 stars you'll get a special ice cream / or new toy. But if they dont behave cross a star off so they know it will take longer to get the toy/ice cream or whatever.

I'd disagree with part of this Joe - mainly the part about crossing a star off. I think star charts are excellent (I've used them myself when my children were younger), but I would say that if they have had a good day, then that should stand and any bad behaviour should be taken for that day only. What I did do is to say that they had to get, say 4 stars in a week (I gave one a day, not two) at first, and each week started afresh. Then when they'd got the treat for 4 stars, it went up to 5 stars the following week, and then 6 stars for a few weeks. That was normally enough to discontinue the charts after that, and I never expected 7 stars in a week (though it did start to happen) as I never expected them to be absolutely perfect. I would also not be too lenient on the first week - if they fail to get the number of stars, then they see there are consequences, and can try harder the next week.

Having said that, if it worked for you, then we simply have different opinions, and maybe Scrat can try both and see which works best for him.