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Been a bit of a turn around since my last post.
Social services couldnt see any reason the eldest couldnt go back to dad. Hes now being assessed by them to see if its ok (despite my PSO!) early next week.
Anyway, yesterday they told him that unless he bucks up his ideas and turns things around, theres a chance the eldest could go into care.....Now whilst I reaslise this could very well be the case, something inside of me is telling me that SS are just saying that so he sorts himself.
hes actually been quite civil the last couple of days. Agreed to attend court for contact for the other two as well.
In the meantime, eldest has yet again been excluded from school, distrupting lessons, walking out of school, generally this last week has been a pain in the backside, he was doing so well. Now I dont want to start pointing the finger but hes been calling round and spending a bit of time with his dad, bearing in mind he is 12 and I cant really do much to stop it.
School want to initiate a managed move where he will go to another high school for a short time and see how he gets on, if he like it, he stays, 9 time out of 10 they change their mind, go back and buck up.
Ex wants him to go where his nephew goes, its near to his sisters and dads house and my work.....I want him to go to a local one near his house where he doesnt know anyone, I dont want it to be nice for him (is that selfish) I want him to hate it and realise how good he had it at his school now. I dont want him walking out and nipping to his aunties / grandads/my works.
Hes on his last warning.
Social services are rubbish, there been no support since it all kicked off with dad kicking him out, basically they dont care.
Eldest wants to go back.
Im done arguing, Ive had enough, and Im fighting a losing battle......do I just admit defeat and let him go back to dad (social services approved obv, but lets be honest, if they cant be bothered now, they arent gonna tell him no are they) or do I fight through the court even though he doesnt want to live with me, just accept that his life is gonna end up down the wrong bath and no matter what I try to do whats best, its not going to happen?
Come on now Crocs...he is worth fighting for so pick yourself up and dust yourself off! The fact that he is playing up because he's seeing his dad again speaks volumes about what is best for him. How do your parents feel? He has been doing so well with them....don't give up on him without a fight.
The SS can't just walk roughshod over courts PSO and I can't imagine the judge that ordered it would be too impressed if they ignored it!
I would write a letter to the judge that made the order and tell him what is happening and how the SS are now encouraging contact with the father, with full knowledge of the PSO and regardless of it! That your sons behaviour, which was improving has now taken another dive since dad has come back on the scene and they are gearing up to place him back with him.
Really? I can do that? I didn't know that.
Thank you so much.
I expect I have to copy him in as well right?
Make sure you write to the judge personally, address the letter to him....and yes copy him in.
I feel really let down by SS, how can they threaten him (if they meant it or not) and then assess him. They told him that the eldest has been playing us both like a fiddle, which I am aware of.
This week alone hes had bad behaviour points at school over over 17! 38 for the year so far, (MOST IN THE FIRST WEEK DUE TO THE UPSET)
Last year was 76 in total for the whole year.
I think he assumed because he was being civil for 2 days Id cancel the court application for court which Im not willing to do. hes now back tracked and told me to sling it! Knew it wouldnt last long.
nanny does it make a difference that Im going to a different court to which the PSO was issued for the fist directions hearing?
Argh!!!!!
Apparently he's spoken to ss and they don't need to assess him cause he was assessed over the summer?
They've checked with legal and he's fine to go home?
That's not right is it??
At the last hearing didn't they order the PSO to remain? Whichever judge that was is the one to write to.
This beggars belief...write that letter asap and ask if the order can be disregarded by SS and ask for guidance.
Yes they did, because he didn't turn up. I'm just shocked beyond belief that first of all there called him all week when I have the PSO so I'm te parent with care and second of all they haven't even let me know what's going on behind my back!
When he went away I had a three way call with the manager of ss an his sw, they told me if he was to return if be investigated for putting him at risk! Then said to get the order, take control and do what I thought was best, so I did and now they've totally undermined my actions!
I understand he's 12 and what he wants carries weight in the court but something has to give! I can't keep dealing with this, it won't be the last time he asks him to leave, I can guarantee that.
Ive been having a read online and I think they are right, because he WANTS to go back and dad isnt TAKING (removing him from myself, school or a third party) him back they can get away with it.
Page 16 last paragraph.
“a prohibited steps order’’ means an order that no step which could be taken by a parent in meeting his parental responsibility for a child, and which is of a kind specified in the order, shall be taken by any person without the consent of the court;
Ooooo I could kiss you Nj!!
Thanks!
COMPULSIVE LIAR is all I have to say today.
Just spoke with scoial worker who told me they advised him (going off the section 7 back from August)) that they cannont recommend where would be best for eldest given his age. Loads has happened since.
She also said they DID NOT tell him he could return nor would they, they dont involve theirselves in private law, its a courts desicion.
Best the eldest remains where he is until court decide and has advised it would be in his best interest to attend court. I still doubt this will happen given that he already email ahead and didnt turn up for the prohibited steps.
I knew it!
Thanks for your reassurance NJ, youre an absolute star!!
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