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We have got a meeting at the school next week in addition to the TAC meeting scheduled
The eldest pushed his brother over in the playground and then walked on his back then hit another child who may have tried to stop him and then finally went for the teacher who did stop him. He later said he was being bullied by another child but he had not said anything about this to the school (said to school 'did not know why he did it') but very vague about what had happened 'he said that I like power rangers'. I will tell the school this to see if it makes any sense to them but I don't think it is a genuine explanation. He is currently suspended from school.
By the time I got to hear about this (driving in a moblie phone no contact area) arrangements had already been made for the wife to pick him up.
This is very negative as the school do not actually think he has anything like ADHD affecting his behavior but it keeps being floated as a possibility.
In the evening when I went to the house to talk to him he did not have any wriggle room as everybody was saying the same thing and he came home with me that evening for a sleepover.
The following morning (took him back home to collect again at dinner time due to him having a support worker) I suggested as it was supposed to be his Saturday afternoon till Sunday teatime weekend anyway he should be told it was happening. However the ex asked him if that was what he wanted to do and he said no so she then insisted he was returned at teatime saturday. The point about this is since the february half term the eldest has been refusing to spend time with me (when he does he enjoys it) and has often refused to speak to me on the phone as described in previous posts.
I feel very undermined and feel many of these problems are caused by him having too much choice and thus control over the adults in his life.
I am worried about what the school are going to say and what this will be seen to indicate..........
I think all you can do is to argue strongly that his behaviour would be helped by having some firm and consistent structure and that putting the decision of contact onto his shoulders isn't appropriate for a child, especially one that is struggling with authority and behaviour.
It might be worth seeing if you can have a meeting with your ex and the school to see if there's a plan that all of you can agree to to find a way forward.
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