[Solved] 3 year old step daughter

Hi its very difficult in a step family situation, been there and got the t shirt. Its really hard when some one else tells your child off or dosnt have the same parenting ideas. Do you see your 6 year old Daughter , does she get on well with your new partner and daughter. Some kids just whinge, my son did till he went to school i learnt to switch off it was the only way to save my sanity. with another one due and already a daughter from previous you really need to make this work. You need to sit down and calmly discuss how you are feeling, but remember your partner is pregnant and will be very sensitive right now. when the new baby arrives the 3 year old wont be able to demand as much attention and she must not feel left out or will react badly to the new arrival. Theres some excellent books out about being a step parent i suggest you have a search on Amazon. You could try mediation to come up with a parenting plan that you both agree on as you need to be working from the same page. She does sound spoilt but thats not her fault and she is very young. Does she go to nursery ?

Wow, it sounds difficult. Sorry to state the bleedin' obvious. I can at least say from my own position that some of it sounds familiar from our own 2 year old's tantrums. I think it is never especially easy with this age...

...the other thing that strikes me is even if your 3 year old is a year on from the "terrible twos" it's still early days, relatively speaking. I know that's not especially comforting but it sounds to me like you are keen to take responsibility (GREAT!) but I've learned the hard way that "fixing things" is not always possible, at least not on my imagined timescale. It may take 10 months, maybe 4 years to sort out these problems. relationships are slow to change...

Thanks for your replies.
My 6 year old gets on great with her, she comes over to stay fortnightly and they very rarely fall out with each other.

I don't think it does help that I'm the only one trying to take responsibility, may be I should just take a back seat and ignore the situation and let other people deal with it? After all I've only been living with her for 12 months now, she calls me Daddy but may be she just isn't ready for me to actually be her Daddy? (if you know what I mean).

She does go to nursery, and apparently she is absolutely fine there (apart from crying when she gets dropped off in the morning).
I'm currently at work and my partner has just phoned to say she's done nothing but be naughty and cry for no reason all morning, we just don't know what to do with her anymore 😡

Hi , It sounds like your partner wants your help on one hand but the other hand says , no . You must be well confused. Does she see her Daddy and extended family ? i think taking a step back and being the good guy with your step daughter is the best approach at the moment, but dont let her rule you be firm but fair, dont loose your temper. It sounds like there is something wrong , crying all morning is not the same as whinging, it might be best to get the doctor to check her over. Hows her speech can she tell you something is wrong or hurting. May be the health visitor could call round. It could be shes worried about the new baby coming .Its good the two girls get along.

This is normal behaviour for a 2/3 year old. At this age she is testing boundaries.

I think the important thing is for you and your partner to present a united front. So it very important that you understand what your partner wants your role to be in all this.

If you both need some additional support and ideas it might be worth looking at taking some parenting classes. These are brilliant for helping give you some strategies for dealing with these situations. Your local Children's Centre would run courses regularly but these are during the day and not easy to attend if your working. So It may be worth considering taking the Triple P parenting course on-line. You can find details of it here.

cookiejay, the thing to remember is you're not alone so pop back here whenever you need to vent (it's amazing how that can help sometimes).

The other thing to do is not let this cause a rift between you and your partner.

Keep chatting with us.

Gooner

Hi, sounds like your going through the same as we are with our 3 year old girl!

She was quite well behaved until about 6 months ago but now she is very mardy tempered and seems to whine constantly over every little thing even when there appears to be nothing the matter!!

I find it really winds me up and sometimes! i have trouble ignoring it especially when me and my missus are trying to have a conversation or i am trying to concentrate, others tell me its and a phase they go through and it will pass in time lol lets hope so!! 😮

My partner tells me to just ignore her but i am yet to master this skill lol

Wish i could ignore it like i do when the missus moans 😉

hi, ive been out of my daughters life and have come back into it and she's 3, i have the same problem, im embarrassed to take her anywhere due to the tantrums and her mother who im separated from just cuddles her and doesn't show no discipline, im sorry i havn't got any answers for you but your message struck such a cord i had to comment, im hoping that its an age thing and it will pass,

good luck

kev